My work in Addiction Recovery is sometimes very challenging when people we are trying to help are so stuck in their thinking that they sabotage themselves and go back out into the world to try and drown their emotions. On my way home I stopped by a nursing home to check up on one of our clients that has all but completely destroyed his liver from his self-destructive use and thinking that left him very ill. The scene in the dining room of this care facility was sad and dismal. I found my heart hurting as I watch all the sad faces and old bodies looking as if they had lost hope and any sense of purpose. That was a scary sight and a questioned flashed through my mind. Will we all end up like this?
My gut is still feeling tight from that memory of all those suffering souls as I sit here and write. I make a clear pledge to myself; I commit to living in hope and to following my purpose until I cease to breathe. I will take care of myself in every way I can to make sure that I live fully until I die. If you every feel sorry for your situation, walk through a nursing home and get clear that you still have much to do and live before you go.
Sorry for the seriousness of my writing today, but addiction, old age, and dying are on my mind today. The Buddhists say we should contemplate our death everyday. That sounds like a good idea to me as a daily reminder about how good it is to be alive and how thankful we can be for each breath that allows us to keep on going.
These times we live in are challenging. The really good news is that each of us has within who we are deep inner resources that we can use to guide and encourage us forward towards a purposeful and hopeful life. There is no reason to get down when we still have a reason to live, when we still have things to accomplish, when there is still hope to be part of something that will make the world a better place. If we quit trying, if we close down our hearts, if we loose focus then the meaning of life slips away.
My hope is that today I can make at least a little difference to someone, that I can feel compassion for the suffering of others, that I can renew daily my determination to go for more in life, and that I can be free enough in mind and spirit to keep on being who I am as fully as I can.
The view outside my window last night was amazing. There was two new inches of snow turning everything into diamonds in the full moonlight. Beauty always heals the heart and balances the mind.