Notes To The World, Part 19 – It Is OK To Feel Positive About Yourself

Today I was thinking about positive words and wondering why is it so difficult to change the word stream in our mind?  What I notice in most people I work with as clients, as students and as staff is they so many are run by the negative programming and self-doubt.  That no matter if they explore and add new positive ideas they still seem to be run by their conditioning.  It seems it takes so much to offset the deep program we received as children and continue to re-enforce through our self-talk.

How do you break the cycle of self-doubt and low self-esteem?  Is it ok for you to love and appreciate yourself even if you received very little if any of that growing up?  How come it is so hard to receive positive feedback and compliments and so easy to be harshly self-judging?  Where did these self-limiting ideas come from and why do you perpetuate them?

Negative ideas about self are almost easier for most people than having positive thoughts.  You might argue this point but if you took the time to really be mindful of your own thoughts, I suspect you would be surprised by how judgmental and critical you can be towards yourself.  I read that Dalai Lama said he was surprised that so many people disliked themselves.  He said that is not true in culture. 

So what should you do?  I suspect a reprogramming of your thinking and self-talk is in order.  If you made an effort to have 1% positive improvement in you inner dialogue each day, you would be 100% improved in just over one season.  Here is my idea to make this Winter, a Winter of contentment with self.  To do this you need to integrate at least one optimistic idea into who you are each day.  Then by the time Spring comes along you will have moved yourself in a definitely more positive direction.

Here are a number of ideas in affirmative first person statements that would be worth a Winter of contemplation:

I live with a passionate purpose

I deserve the life I want

I am a good person

I can have the love I desire

I can give love easily

I fully and completely accept myself

I enjoy being who I am

I am excited about life

I have an endless capacity to give

I can be compassionate to myself and others

I am patient

I am bright and wise

I make a positive difference in the world

I have qualities others will value

I am both a humble and gifted person

I am open to learning

I am ever expanding in my consciousness

I am mindful and present to my life

I am free to be

I can watch myself free of judging

I am grateful for who I am

I love my body just as it is

I appreciate the beauty that is in my life

I am able to slow down and take in what is around me

I can play and have fun

I can do things that make me feel good

I am in touch with the wisdom of the stillness within me

I am powerful as a person

I am in touch with my potential

I am creative

I have an infinite heart

I fully accept all my emotions

I am enough and more

I am aligned my higher nature

I follow my intuition and it leads me to a great life

I am more and more self-aware

I have a bright light inside of me and I can share it

I am full of endless energy

I am filled with radiant health

I am totally committed to being fully myself

I am in a nurturing relationship with my spirit

I am open to the highest guidance

I respect my body and take good care of my health

I believe in myself

I trust my inner wisdom to show me the way

I am a social being that enjoys the relationships I build

I choose my experiences of life through my thoughts

I keep on growing each day towards my highest expression

I am filled with the joy of my infinite nature

I live in the grace of the moment

I am a great friend

I spread loving-kindness wherever I go

I am a supportive and loving partner and/or parent

I am filled with the warmth of my caring heart

I let the child in me show me how to enjoy life

I am worthy of great things

I am open to the infinite supply of the universe

I am kind and understanding

I am grateful for each day

I am at peace with myself

Let me know how this goes this Winter, I am sure you will love the results.



Out Of Body Experiences

It was a very long day yesterday and when I finally sat down to write my first draft of today’s post, my energy was waning.  I ready the student’s finals on the bus ride back to Boulder and got home at 10pm.  Tomorrow I will return to my Notes To The World Series.  Today I want to give you a brief update on my experiment with the out of body techniques of William Buhlman. 

I got his series on How To Have An Out Of Body Experience over at Sounds True (see ad).  I got interested listening to William being interviewed on the free podcast series called Insights At The Edge also at Sounds True.   He believes that out of body experiences (OBE’s) offer an endless path for personal growth and expanding consciousness.  

About a month ago I began some of his exercises and I am please to report that I have had some very interesting experiences and feel my consciousness has been enhanced.  The experiences include being able to travel out of my body to places I want to go to like one of my favorite viewpoints of the Pacific Ocean in Santa Barbara.  I can close my eyes and go there almost instantly even though I am in Boulder.  I can go visit people anywhere and check in on them.  I can bring healing energy to those I know in need.  I can alter my state so that I feel free of the limits of my body.  This all feels as if it is really enriching my life.

I also notice that I am more energized, more tuned in and have a greater sense of impartiality both for myself and for the dramas of others.   My interventions with clients have a greater clarity to them.  It feels like the burden of the intense work I do has been lifted. 

As this experimenting goes on I feel its immense potential to enrich every aspect of my life.  There is so much to explore and as I listen to the CD OBE’s program, I am excited about all the learning opportunities that I now have.  These experiments are just beginning and already I am experiencing the benefits.

Just writing about this is exciting to me and I feel a strong desire to take more time for experimenting.  If you want to see what I am talking about, head over to Sounds True and checkout William’s offerings.  I am really glad I did.  You can also find out more about him and OBE’s if you Google these topics. 

Are You Open And Resilient?

Today is the day for the final exam in Counseling Theory and Practice course I teach at a local university.  The students this semester have been exceptional both in their openness to learning and in dealing with the challenges they face in their own lives.  The clients in my treatment program also have been open to learn and seem determined their lives forward even in the midst of the chaos their addictions have caused.  What keeps you open to learning and helps you stay resilient even in the most trying of times?

The answer is that your openness and your resilience are both what you are wired to be.  You are meant to be open and receptive to learning so that you can grow and evolve.  Your resilience is part of what you are made of as a human being.  You are meant to survive as a biological imperative programmed into you brain.  Yes you are a living being set to survive and thrive. 

What causes you to closed down or become rigid?  This being closed, rigid and inflexible usually begins in the mind.  The mind may be conditioned to have a fear agenda and be protectively uptight.  The mind may also be jammed up with beliefs that seriously need to be questioned.  The ego likes to play the expert and controller while riding herd over the mind and keeping it from wandering away from the control of the predictable. 

Rigid and close-minded thinking is not only a great cause of problems in people but also in the world.  The mind is endlessly flexible but too often beliefs and ideology dominate over rational and clear thinking.  It seems time for the self-limiting mind to be replaced by infinitely potential mind.

A powerful source for expanding openness and resilience is compassion for yourself and others.  The heart is a natural opener and wants you to expand. The heart is a driving force to keep you going when the going gets tough.  An open heart opens you to what is possible and that is often very uplifting. 

Speaking of heart’s compassion, which is often a topic here at the Explore Life Journal, I was thinking it is time for a revolution of compassion.  Those without true compassion have been running the world for way too long.  Today I am inspired to write a book about revolution in the form of a great compassionate movement that really does care about people more that profits and power.  Stay tuned to see when I get some ideas on paper (word document) because I plan to keep you informed as I go.   

Have an inspired day and let your heart guide you.  



Notes To The World, Part 18 – You Can Focus On The Beauty

My wife and I live in Boulder Colorado, which is a very beautiful place.  There is lots of greens space with mountains providing the landscape if you look west.  There is natural beauty everywhere especially on a sunny day.  This community is also rich in artistic expression so there is man made beauty to be found in abundance.  To live in natural beauty, to appreciate the beauty of human creation is so enriching to life.  What is you community like as far as natural and man made beauty?  Do you life in an environment of beauty?

There is also human beauty, this beauty comes in the way of a beautiful smile, twinkling eyes, the radiance of the spirit, the glow of an open heart, the enjoyment of genuineness, the innocence of a child, and the pleasure of interacting with fun personalities.  All this beauty begins inside of us and spreads out into the world.

If you go looking for beauty you can find it.  If you are not open to seeing the beauty around you, it won’t be found.  Beauty is something you are receptive to or not.  The more you are receptive to beauty the more you see what is beautiful around you and inside of you. 

Something about appreciating beauty is nurturing and expansive.  When you take the time to appreciate a colorful sunset, you feel more alive.  When you listen to a favorite song, you can feel uplifted.  When you look into the eyes of a loved one, you can feel the heart open even further.  When you appreciate a moment of insight, you can know more deeply your spirit.  When you sit and listen to a stream, you can be guided to the place you have wanted to be.  Beauty takes you places in life you might miss otherwise.

How do you open to beauty?  The beginning of opening starts by slowing down and getting to know what is around you.  Just slowing down and taking in your environment will introduce you to the beauty of the place you are in and the people you are around.  Once you slow down and are present you become more aware and things become clearer.  In awareness and clarity you can see much more of what is going on.  You can see the patterns of all kinds of life.  You can see the vibrancy of colors and feel the subtleness of textures.  You can sense your connection to everything.  You can feel more energized and alive.  You can even drop below the noisy mind and feel at peace.

Beauty happens in the moment and the more you explore beauty the more it enriches your life.  Make a commitment to see the beauty both inside and around you today.  Let the beauty expand your experience of life.  Let beauty touch your heart and lift you up.  Let beauty fill you with hope for yourself and all of humanity.  Earth is such a beautiful planet.  You are such beautiful person.  Those around you are such beautiful beings.  Feel the joy of realizing this is a beautiful life.



Tax-Cuts For The Rich Will Never Worked For The Rest Of Us

The tax-cut issue is very significant from my vantage point.  The Reagan Era windfall in tax cuts for the rich has greatly hurt our nation.  They continue today.  The Trickle Down economics of that time are still used today to rationalize letting the rich get huge tax breaks.  This Trickle Down theory was a bogus idea that rationalized breaking the government for the good of the wealthy.  I am not an economist but it is for sure clear to me that giving the rich who have the most money huge tax breaks is causing our country to run at a deficit.  Also as long as corporations get away with not paying their fair share of taxes we will always be in financial trouble as a nation.

That same Reagan Era named the Communist Party as the force we needed to be protected from.  This outside force actually was more prone to self-destruction then to any of our policies.  The real dangerous force that went wild during that era and it still running loose is the Money Influenced Party, which almost all of our elected officials in DC are members of.  This Money party has a clear agenda to expand the money of those that have it and the rest of us are all labeled as those who seek entitlements.  Entitlement is the judgmental word the Money Party uses to categorize everyone who is not rich and uses any government programs.  This is fancy word for their bias and prejudice against most Americans who are not rich like them.

Tax-cuts for the rich only help the rich and hurt the country.  The creating jobs rationale is in fact not true.  The money goes to more investments (just investment numbers not jobs) and to holding larger reserves of cash in corporations.  The CEO’s make money and the top shareholders make money when we let them off of their tax responsibilities.  Does that seem fair and right to you?

Now I want to try and tie all this to a bigger picture from my perspective as a mental health professional. One point is that the human ego is a huge driving force in this country and it is about seeking more power, having more control, and never having enough money.  The more money the better even when the ego driven person has billions they want more.  The ego is never satisfied because it is always run by fear. 

Another point is that in Washington DC things don’t change because the rich, the powerful, the corporations all are run by egos and their fears.  Fear closes down our capacity to have compassion.  When we are in fear our thinking becomes very narrow and we are stuck in survival mode.  In DC the survival mode is about keeping in power and the thinking becomes narrower the longer they stay in power.

The truth is that fear is the dominating force used to rationalize huge military spending, rationalize bailing out incompetent management of banks, investment firms, car companies etc.  Fear is the rationalization of all our war activity.  We humans for centuries have been run by fear.  This fear is really not necessary if we get together and work things out.  Unfortunately fear breeds more fear and more distrust and we become blinded to simple solutions.

Stepping away from all this drama create by our thoughts, all this fear reactivity, all this power seeking and greed, what we have are those in charge who have lost touch with their hearts, we have leaders who are blinded by their fears, we have government dictated by those who have the most money influence, and we have people who can’t be trusted because of their fear they have little or no connection with their higher nature.

There is really so much to say here and so much to be concerned about where we are headed.  The mental health part I understand and have ideas to help but the policy stuff has so much to be sorted out by people who can think bigger in these areas.  There is for sure such a need for compassion and consciousness.  What ideas do you have and where can you lend support?



Notes To The World, Part 17 – You Have A Calling

Would you take the time today and look into a mirror and begin to get acquainted with yourself.  Look into you eyes and ask what is your calling.  There is a unique purpose only you can fulfill because there will only be one of you in human history.  You have to be you as fully as possible. 

This calling has most likely been in your awareness for some time and you may be living that calling today.  You may also have ignored this calling trying to play it safe, be more practical or some other rationalization.

Your calling may be a quiet whisper, a demanding urge, a gut instinct, an intuitive knowing, or other ways that your higher nature is trying to communicate with you.   It is best to listen carefully to what you are being guided to do.

Your calling cannot be ignored because it is your calling.  To turn away from your calling would be to turn away from the meaning in your life.  Living a life absent of meaning never feels good but you probably know that if you have wander for longer without much purpose. 

This calling in you can evolve over time and you can get clearer about your calling by exploring it.  Some people may know their calling from childhood, maybe you are one of the fortunate ones who are blessed with clarity.  The rest of us figure it out as we go and most likely that is what you are doing also.

Here are 12 clear signs that you are living your calling:

1. You feel very alive about what you are doing
2. You have lots of energy and seem to rarely run low
3. You are enthusiastic about your work
4. You are passionate about what you do
5. You would do what you do for free but making a living doing it is even better
6. You wake up each day ready to live with as much intention as possible
7. You create results almost effortlessly
8. You are filled with inspiration
9. You are in an almost constant creative flow of expression
10. You think lots about your calling even when you are not doing it
11. You feel good because you know you are making a difference
12. You feel as if you are realizing your potential

If you don’t have at least a number of these signs, you may need to further explore your calling or fine-tune it.  If you have none of these signs it is time to do a thorough inner search, listen more deeply, and pay more attention to your intuitions.  You can also ask others what you do the most naturally and effortlessly because these are signs also. 

If still no zing in life there are additional possibilities. 

• You could find a personal coach or counselor to help you. 
• You could find a psychic who is recommended by people you trust. 
• You could go on a vision quest and invite insight through a practice. 
• You could get out a journal and write with in openness to guidance. 
• You could take some time in nature like Thoreau and go inward and find your way. 
• You could pursue different interests and see which one catches on. 
• You could sit under and tree like the Buddha and open to awakening. 
• You could go on a vacation, travel and play lots and see what comes to you. 

There are so many possibilities open to your exploration.

When you arrive at your calling and decide to live it your calling will be a joy and your life will enrich the rest of us.



Notes To The World, Part 16 – If You Find Your Stillness

Would you join with me and turn inward in search of the quiet stillness that resides in you and I? 

Close your eyes and take three long slow exhales and inhales.  The longer and more full the exhale, the deeper the inhale.

Begin to slow down enough that you can start the journey into the center of peace within you.

As you slow down become acquainted with the thinking machine called your brain.  This busy mass of cells can produce huge amounts of noise between your ears throughout your day. 

The goal here is to drop below or rise above the noise.  Whatever image works best.  I like the image of rising above since I think of you being in search of your higher nature, your higher wisdom, your higher state of peacefulness.  Others prefer dropping below as if you go under the flow of chaos into a deeper and more peaceful stream of life force. 

Once you disconnect from your rapid river of thinking you begin to get a glimpse of slowing down and who you are beyond your thoughts.  This place of quieter awareness is rich with insight into your more expanded nature. 

As you allow the tuning in to go deeper you can come upon the quiet pond of stillness that resides in all of us.  This silent place of stillness is like an oasis for the mind.  All you have to do is be present, relax and enjoy. 

There are several really interesting possibilities once you arrive at the point of stillness inside. 

One is that you realize your stillness is connected to the stillness within everyone and that this stillness is throughout the entire universe.  This moment of enlightenment connects you to all of life. 

Another possibility is that in the realization of connection to all things, you also realize that you are connected to the Creative Force of the universe.  As a verse from the Bible says, “Be still and know I am God.”  In your stillness you find your divine nature.

This brings you to a third possibility, which is that you have the same abilities to create your world as the Creative Force has to create the universe.  If that is true then you are the creator of your life experience and if that is true you can recreate your life into any form you want it to be.  Think about this for a few minutes will you please.  You can create the life you want.

So what is next if you have this power to manifest this wonderful life?  What is next is that you come to the metaphorical pond of stillness and you drop the image of the life you want into it and let the ripples spread out across your pond, out across the combined ponds of all humanity and then across the entire universe.  Once these waves cross the universe they begin to bring thought into action and into form. 

Look around you and see that everything made by us humans began as a simple ripple of a thought.

Now are you ready to get creative?  Start by doing what practices that help you relax, then move inward until you arrive at the shore of you pond.  Once you are there, take the little package of potential called your desire and drop into the pond of possibilities.  Before you know it this package of desired potential will be joining forces with the Great Creator and together you will produce the results you are clear enough to deeply and quietly imagine. 

Ok, now is the time to connect with your stillness and send out the waves of possibilities that you know you are here to realize.



Looking For Other Consciousness Raising Activists

You are much more than you realize and here at this blog I am always writing to invite you into a greater understanding of who you are and what is possible.  My Notes To The World series was created as part of this ongoing effort to assist you to wake up even more.   I too am always growing and so are the many clients I work with so I know this is the way of human nature.  The expansion of consciousness is available to all of us.

I have a particular agenda tied to you and all my readers which is to support your growth.  I want to encourage and inspire as many people as possible to expand their consciousness.  The reason for this focus is that I am a social activist that understands that real change that is good for all of humanity will probably not happen on a political level.  The nature of politics is that it is run by human ego’s rather than higher consciousness.  Ego’s will not be positive forces for change because they are driven by: the need for control; to need to be right; are blinded to other viewpoints; are run by beliefs that are not even based in reality; and are mainly driven by power and greed.

Today in this post I wanted to re-energize my focus for my mission for peace through consciousness and ask if you have ideas because I want to figure out how to increase my positive impact on the world.   I would love more readers and ways to make this blog more impactful.  Your ideas would be greatly appreciated.

In addition to my blog, I wanted to share with you several sources of inspiration and consciousness raising.  The Sounds True free podcasts I have mentioned before.   Please check them out and you can do so by following the ad on my blog.  Another interesting place to check out is a series on public radio called On Being.(updated)  The interview of John O’Donohue on 11/25/10 is awesome.  As mentioned in a past post, The Moth podcasts (updated) are great stories that are sure to lift you up.

If you have a social activist heart like myself and want to be a guest blogger at the Explore Life Journal please send in ideas and articles and if they seem appropriate I will publish them here.  I know that together you and I have all the power we need to bring about real change and I want to support that in any way I can.

If you are interesting in working together we can also form a network of consciousness raising and social activism.  I am open to your ideas and am grateful to you for reading my blog, for having an open mind, and for wanting to make a positive difference.

2011 is just around the corner, I am intuitively feeling an urgency toward more social action and expanding consciousness.  I am certain it will be a good year for consciousness and social activism.  Would you join me in whatever way seems right for you? You could start your own blog, get involved with a cause that seems important, start a letter writing campaign, or whatever feels right to you.  Together we can accomplish more than we might imagine.



Notes To The World, Part 15 – Your Intentions Make Things Happen

A few years ago Wayne Dyer wrote a wonderful book called Intentions.  You can find this book in your local used bookstore and it is well worth reading.  Intentions are very powerful.  If you set an intention to make something happen in your life, there is a an excellent chance you will succeed.  Setting an intention means you have gotten clear about what is important to you and now you are determined to make what you want to happen.  This clarity of thought with a willingness for action can be powerful forces for shaping your reality.

Intentions have at least four important components:

The first is a clear image in your mind about what it is you want to manifest.  A mind that can visualize results has a very good chance of making these results happen. 

The next component is about emotions and heart.  For intentions to be fully empowered your heart has to be involved.  You cannot do anything of significance without heart, without the passion and power of your emotions. 

The third component is a body that is open, flexible and willing to move into action.  If your body is closed down or bound up energetically, the results of your intention can be mixed. 

The forth component is your spirit, where what you want, joins forces with the universe.  If you are distant from your spirit, you intentions will be more superficial and less meaningful. 

These four factors are so important that it would be helpful for you to understand them even more.  Your busy mind rarely slows down enough to get clear.   To slow down and tune in is essential to find what it is that you want.  In the quiet of the mind there is a higher knowing that is a helpful and trustworthy guide.   This knowing knows what is right for you.  Practices like mindfulness, meditation and contemplative prayer can help quiet your endless parade of thoughts and help you find what matters most.

Once the mind settles and your emotions are not all over the place, then your focus can be enhanced.  In the quiet clarity of your heart’s wisdom there is energy to make ideas come alive.  The heart always knows what is better for you than your mind.  The heart is good at directing waves of attractive force towards what you intend.  When you get all charged up about what is important to you, your heart is usually the source.  Feel the passion of your heart aligned with your intentions and then imagine loving the results you create.

The body when relaxed and rested stands waiting for action.  Your body is full of life force and it wants to make things happen.  If you fuel it well, push it enough and give it time to recover your body can keep on driving to the finish line of your intentions.  Your body with its gut instincts is also a guiding force you can trust more than the ramblings of your mind.

As you expand your awareness of spirit, your higher nature, you realize this aspect of who you are is unlimited and awaiting your direction.  In the stillness of spirit anything is possible.  With mind, body, emotions and spirit working together desires have to move from thought to form.  The moment you drop your intention into the stillness of the field of unlimited possibilities and let the waves ripple out into the universe, extraordinary things begin to happen.  These waves are so charged that they can bring into the material world what your mind can imagine, your heart can desire, your body can energize, and what you spirit can create.  



Notes To The World, Part 14 – You Are Energy

Deepak Chopra says you and the rest of us humans are made up of energy and information.  If you were to take a close look at your structure with a super microscope, you would see you are made up of tiny particles in constant motions.  According to information available, you have within you enough energy to light up a small town for a month.  Yes the energy does ebb and flow but it is always in you in abundance. 

What does energy mean to your life?  Your food intake, digestion, breathing, and needed rest fuel the energy flow of your brain and body. Your energy powers your brain, which is used extensively in moving your body.  Your body moves you about and allows you to take the actions necessary for life.  A healthy flow of energy means the well-being for you mind, emotions and body.  This bioenergy equals your life force.

How do you build up life force?  As an energetic being you will do well by: eating food that sustains you; getting the rest you need; breathing fully; having thoughts that lift you up; experiencing your emotions (e-motion = energy in motion); and by expanding your thoughts that take you beyond the ordinary mind.  Energy flows when you open to the flow.  Meditation, yoga, tai chi and a variety of healing techniques all can open you to a rich flow of energy.

How do you use up energy?  At a metaphoric level how do you give away too much power/energy?  Not taking good care of your body burns up lots of energy.  Feelings can wear you out.  Living your life in a hurry and worry mode.  Thoughts can be a huge energy drain when you focus on blaming and complaining because you are giving away your power to others.  Each time you place others in the way of what you want, you give your power to them.  Here are some examples: getting mad while driving; being upset at others because they don’t live up to your expectations; having anger towards those you do business with because they want you to do thing differently; unfinished issues with parents, partners, friends, family etc; being negative and critical of self and others; spending time worrying; being impatient and uptight; letting anxiety build up in you; and so many more ways. 

All of the above energy draining examples can be changed toward increasing energy if you change your thoughts.  Your thoughts are powerful and they can be energy allies or energy drains. 

Let’s take the simple example from above about driving in traffic.  If you commute to work and back you probably have had many energy draining thoughts.  You may have gotten caught up in blaming other drivers for their poor driving.  This blaming puts you in the role of a victim, which makes you feel powerless, and if you tune in you can feel the life force draining from you in this state of mind.  These thoughts are not real (you are not a victim in this circumstance) and they are actually toxic to you.  If you instead use your FM radio or CD player, you can listen to relaxing music, a comic you enjoy, a foreign language learning program or some other really interesting show or even started singing.  Any of these activities would help you feel better and uplift your energy.

Think of yourself as a river of energy flowing toward the life you want.  Set intentions and visualize each day what result you want to create.  Have positive thoughts about yourself and your life and you will feel an energetic flow that will keep you going strongly throughout your day.



Notes To The World, Part 13, You Are A Social Being

Your life is about being in relationships with others.  As a social being you feel the need to interact with people.  Some interactions are nurturing and healthy, others more surface, and some may even seem toxic to you.  You can thrive in relationships or struggle.  There are key components to being successful at have healthy and meaningful relationships.  Relationships can greatly enrich your life.

What is your history of relationships like?  Do you have real friends and people you can count on?  Do you tend to spend most of your time alone and is that ok?  Are you good at setting limits in your relationships?  Is your heart open?  Do you have unfinished business about past relationships? These are just a few questions that may help you look you as a social being.

What are the most important components of successful relationships?  The first one is having an open heart.  You need an open heart to find relationships that have an open heart for you.  Yes you probably have friends that complain they have open hearts but can’t find love.  This may be true but most likely these friends have conditional hearts where they are willing to love only if certain conditions are met.   An open heart loves without conditions.  An open heart is vulnerable and that may feel risky at times but this openness is essential.

There are a number of relationships in your life that do not require a fully open heart which would be enhance by opening your heart more.  At work, in business, with friends an open heart signals you are available for a quality relationship with all those you interact with.  You can have an open heart and set clear boundaries and they will be respected.  

The second component is a willingness to listen.  Your willingness to listen is about you already have the ability to listen and are you willing to do so from of place of compassion.  Compassionate listening is very engaging because you are there for another and for the relationship you share.  When you listen with compassion your agenda is being fully present in a caring way.  Everyone appreciates being listened to in this way. 

Most listening is more waiting for the other person to finish so you can then talk.  This kind of listening is too superficial and unrewarding.  Relationships need compassionate listening if they are to survive.  There are many business type relationships that can work for a time on the surface but they can’t be counted on.

Another necessary component for building relationships that matter to you is the ability to tune into both yourself and others as a way to deepen the connection.  Tuning in means being able to both sense your own intuitive knowing and the mental/emotional space of another.  Relationships affect each other and to be tuned in means you are aware of these affects both internally and with those you are in connecting with.  This inner knowing and outer radar is helpful if you want to take a relationship deeper.  Getting lost in love has its place but tuning in will take it further and deeper. 

Two other components seem important to mention.  These are being genuine and honest.  Building relationships on being genuinely who you are is very important.  If you play roles, hide behind masks, or do what you do to seek approval in your relationships, these relationships will not last because they will take too much energy to maintain.  Being who you are is more than enough to have meaningful relationships with others. 

Honesty is also important.  This does not mean you have to share every thought or be brutally honest.  Honesty is being open with who you are, living by your relationship agreements, not sneaking around, and speaking your truth with kindness.  Respect your relationships enough to be honest and they will be honest in return.

I commit to be open in my heart, listen with compassion, tune in to another and myself, being genuinely myself and honest in my relationships.  Would you join me and together we can create relationships that will enrich the world. 



Stages Of Change

The long and busy day was winding down last night I went grasping into the darkness in search of a spark of inspiration for today’s post.  That reach into the unknown at first seemed to produce little but a tired yawn.  Then as I began to see some energy start to flow I knew I was heading in the right direction.  That direction quickly fizzled and there I was just waiting.  Waiting is a really interesting space to be in.  If I am feeling patient, waiting can be enjoyable because I am fully present and in anticipation of something to happen.  If I am impatient then I have let my mind take me to some place other than the now.  Not being in the now is a lot less fun than being in the now.

So the waiting continued and then I saw a diagram in my stack of papers, which always seem to be floating about my desk.  Papers with lots of ideas on them that I like having in reach.  My desk at work is a sea of ideas floating about hoping to find order some day when the treatment program is less busy which may never happen.

That diagram was from a therapy method called Motivational Interviewing.  This graphic illustration of the Stage of Change is something I take for granted because it is in my work but then I realized my readers would benefit from these ideas. 

The Stages of Change include:

Precontemplative - So first we notice things are not working so well and maybe we should consider something different, for example we may find ourselves in trouble with the law or our relationship not working.

Contemplative - Next we move to thinking change is probably needed and maybe we should do something about it.  We are uncomfortable enough to consider assessing how we are and how we got to this place.

Determination/Preparation - Then after change is considered we move into assessing our motivation and making a plan if in fact we are going to do something.  This is often where we might seek the help of a counselor if we find we need help with motivation or we our not satisfied with our plan.

Action – We move into action with a plan and the motivation for change.  From there change can happen because we are doing what it takes.  If things are going well we then move into our changed world.

Maintenance - This is when we are living our changes and feeling how we feel in this new way of being.  Most times it takes focus to maintain our changes.  There can be ups and downs and that is natural.  

Relapse - If we fall back into old behavior that would be called a “relapse”.  Relapse can last for a while or a day or two and than we can move back to action.  In addiction recovery relapse is normal and it can be very difficult sometimes to get back into the change mode. 

This is a simple explanation of the stages of change.  It can be a very helpful model if we are aware of changes that need to be made in our life.  What changes do you want to make in your life.  If you were to assess the stage you are in what would it be?  How would you then move to the next stage? 

TGIF



Notes To The World, Part 12 – You Can Feel Good About Yourself

Tomorrow is a very long day at work with an early morning meeting, a drug court appearance for a client, check in with the 6 clients in treatment, individual therapy and an evening group.  I am worn out just thinking about it.  I am writing my blog tonight and posting it because I will not have time to in the morning.  Full days may be difficult but they also can make me feel as if I am doing something that matters.

So what am I inspired to write tonight?  I have been thinking about ways that will always makes you and I feel good about who we are. 

Here are the 5 best inner guidelines to live your life in ways that will make you feel positive about yourself:

You can always feel better about yourself when you live according to the values that matter most to you.  If for example your Top 10 values were compassion, honesty, peace, personal growth, loyalty, health, freedom, friendship, spirituality, and forgiveness you would ideally want to live accordingly to them.  The goal is to live according to what matters to you.  If you have important values and you live in conflict with them, you most likely don’t feel ok about yourself.  Living in alignment with what is important to you will make you feel as if life is something you value.

Paying attention to your intuition is a great way to feel good about yourself.  When you allow yourself to be guided by what you know deep inside is right for you, you end up creating the life you want.  Ignoring your inner instincts inevitable leads to unnecessary suffering.  Following what you intuitively know is best for you will lead to amazing success.

Living with a purpose in mind can so enrich your sense of self.  Your purpose is unique to you and living that purpose is rewarding to both you and to those around you who get to feel the benefits of you being you.  A purpose driven life is full of meaning and joy.  When you live with meaning and happiness you feel uplifted and this brings out the best in you.  The world is so much better when you live your purpose as fully as you can.

When your follow the guidance of your heart life just seems so much more worth living.  Your heart is so wise about what matters to you.  Your heart is full of compassion, kindness and caring.  Living by the wisdom of the heart means you have so much more to give and are so much more open to receive.  Let you love flow and everything will work out for the best.

Lastly and maybe most important is to build a deep and meaningful relationship with your spirit, your night nature.  There is within you so much more than you have yet to realize.  You are one with the Great Spirit and living in the grace of that consciousness will brighten every day.  You will always feel good about yourself when you express the divine creation you are. 

Let these five ways show you how to live.  I commit to explore, and live according to my values, follow my intuition, live with purpose, follow my hearts knowing, and expand more fully into my spirit each day.  Are you willing to do the same and have a wonderful life?



Wikileaks Are A Positive Thing

I found myself reacting to the news yesterday and as best I can I try to stay away from doing that.  The wikileaks storm is so interesting.  Two FOX personalities who claim to be Christians call for the execution of those who are leaking this secret information.  Maybe they forgot some of the basic teachings of their religion? 

Frankly, I cheer for those that are bringing secrets out into the open.  Our governments are full of secrets, our corporations are full of secrets, we have whole departments of government that only do secret stuff.  We have secret societies that have too much power.  The world of finance is full of secret accounts.  People hide their family secrets and on and on. This all seems so fear based and unhealthy for all of us. 

Why do we have to hide what we do from each other?   Is it because what we do is wrong or unacceptable?  Is it because there is no rationale for what we do?  How come so much of what goes on in governments and corporations is suspicious behavior.  Are there really no higher values guiding these people who insist on keeping things secret? 

The rational BS for the secrets has always been to protect us.  The truth is these secrets are to protect them from being held responsible for their actions. 

How come it is ok for a president and his administration to lie us into the war in Iraq that we provoked but it is wrong for people to publish secrets that we all should be aware of to hold people accountable?  How come many corporations run entirely by greed are allowed to keep what they do from public scrutiny?   How come people are allowed to have secret accounts and secret business deals that are so anti-environment and anti-what is good for the people of the planet? 

Isn’t it time we have transparency?  Yes confidentiality is important and so are some issues of security but so much gets hidden from the eyes of the people to protect the hiders not the people.  Think torture by the Bush administration, think the shady workings of Monsanto, think the US in the past overthrowing governments like Haiti not that long ago.  Think BP and the oil spill misinformation.   There are so many examples of secrets hiding the truth.  Think of the 3^rd building coming down on 9/11 with not reasonable explanation. 

The more the secrets are out the better for all of us. 

Today is World AIDS day, if you feel compassion for those with AIDS do something to stop the spread of this horrible disease. 



Notes to The World, Part 11 - You Do Better With Self-Awareness

Structure can be both inhibiting and freeing.  In my treatment program our clients in general need more structure because at some level they appreciate knowing clearly what is expected of them.  Structure is important for people early in their development.  On the other hand, I appreciate the lack of structure and enjoy being more spontaneous.  I am far from early in my development yet always hungry for more learning and for higher expression.  Each of us is unique in what we need and it is helpful to learn what works for us.

Unfortunately most of us were raised in families, schools and other environments in which we were made to conform to the norm.  In that extensive conditioning we often had to deny what we were sensing and feeling because we were told what to do.  Our earliest years taught us a lot about not paying attention to our own awareness.  Much of adult life is about coming back into our essential state of awareness.

Awareness is a very personal journey involving tuning into the busy workings of your mind and inner dialogue.  Awareness is feelings your feelings from a place of acceptance and exploration.  Awareness is being in your body and noticing its ebb and flows, its openings and blocks, and the endless amount of information that comes in through your senses.  Awareness is a relationship with your intuition, higher nature, your heart, your knowing beyond the ordinary mind and your spirit.  At its least complicated, awareness is being fully in the moment.

If you are aware, you know the wisdom of the body; you understand the complicated nature of your thoughts; you respect the guidance of your emotions; you follow the compassion of your heart; you live in harmony with what matters to you; you place great value in the silence wisdom within you, and you fully realize that beyond you there is a greater universal force.   All these pathways of knowing are there for you with a great purpose.  That purpose is to show you how to live the life you desire, you hope for, and what you are here to do.  To say you don’t know what to do would mean you are not in awareness of the wisdom trying to guide you every moment of your life.

Awareness has been sought out by all the greater wisdom teacher through human history.  Never in that history has there been more ways to explore awareness than there is today.   There are opportunities for awareness through teachers, counselors, coaches, books, cd’s dvd’s, youtube, seminars, meditative practices, and through the silence within you.  There is always more to explore in this information age.

If you want to be more aware, go inward or go in search of some one who can guide you.  Awareness begins inside and can be greatly enhance by the guidance of someone who is willing to show you ways and practices that will enhance your exploration. 

I live as fully in awareness as I can each moment.  I keep on learning every day on how to do that even better.  If you want help, myself and others are out there ready to encourage and support your journey.



Notes To The World, Part 10 - You Are Consciousness Ever Expanding

Lately I have been exploring a CD set of guided practices by William Buhlman about have OBE’s (out of body experiences).  I already feel the benefits as I find myself less attached to my physical body and more in touch with the infinite within me.  This exploration feels meaningful and fresh because I have never intentionally explored being out of my body and as I said I already feel an expansion of consciousness.  I have been a student of higher consciousness for 30 years and now understand better than ever that there is so much consciousness still to be explored. 

The other day I was listening to an interview over at Sounds True of Shinzen Young a well-known meditation teacher who spends a lot of time doing research on the benefits of meditation.  He was talking about consciousness and said that if the Buddha was alive today he would have more consciousness to discover than he did 2500 years ago.  My immediate reaction was if you have achieved the enlightenment the Buddha had then you have realized all the consciousness there is.  The Buddha’s enlightenment was aware of all there is and this knowing in timeless not a product of human history.  It seems modern enlightenment is not any further advanced just maybe more articulate.  What do you think?

It seems I got a bit distracted by my thoughts about the Buddha's consciousness being timeless.  You have that same potential to become an enlightened one.  There is unlimited consciousness waiting for you if you so choose to explore it.  Higher consciousness is available to you through practices the produce greater awareness and deeper knowing.  You can keep going higher and higher if you have the interest and discipline to see where consciousness will take you.  You can become a modern day Buddha and bring a bright light to the world.

How do you expand your consciousness and to what are the benefits?  The benefits include: being fully present to your life; living at a higher vibrations level which makes thing happen in positive ways; lifting those around you up by your good vibrations; real inner peace and joy; a very spacious and inclusive heart; all the knowing you need; the clarity of purposeful existence; a strong sense of well-being and vibrant health; the real happiness of total freedom; and much more.  The more you open to consciousness the more it will be made available to you.

The “how” question is addressed in the esoteric practices of all today’s religions.  The Catholics have contemplative prayer.  The Buddhists have meditation and mindfulness.  The Muslims have the Sufi practices.  The Jews have the Kabbalists.  The Native Americans have drumming and journeying.  The New Age have visualizations and other practices.  Your way will have to be your way but there is much to borrow from and explore. 

Why not start simple and bring as much awareness to your day as you can.  If you set the intention to wake up as fully as you can each moment, the universe will provide you with many opportunities to be a more conscious human being. 

I commit to being a more conscious being every day.  Will you commit to doing the same?  Together we can all help to awaken the entire planet.     



Notes To The World, Part 9 – You Can Be A Beacon Of Light

This morning the sun is shining brightly on my back as I write and it feels nurturing on a cold day.  Light has a powerful presence in our lives: as a way to bring us out of darkness, as a source of heat, as the sparkle in one’s eyes, as a metaphor for awakening as in becoming enlightened, as a bringer of hope or inspiration, and more.  Within you and myself is a light whose origin is our spirit.  In our lives we can live in the light of our spirit and the Universe or we can clamor around in the shadows of what is limited.

This note is to you as an invitation to be your light, to be a beacon of light to the world.  Your light has the potential to be as powerful as you want it to be.  You can shine brightly in your family and community, on a larger level or be a global beacon of light for all humanity.  Your light is infinite but only as bright as you let it be expressed. 

Your light may be a flicker you see in the mirror or a smile amongst friend.  Your light could flood the world with hope and be a source of inspiration to others.  Your light could awaken others to their light.  Your actions could be your light.  Your heart could be your light.  Your mind could be your light.  Your spirit realized could be your light.  Your body’s expression could be your light.  Your passion could be your light.  Your wisdom expressed could be your light.  Your compassionate acts could be your light. 

How do you find and expand your light might be a question coming up for you now as you read this?  The answer is both an intuitive knowing within you which can be enhanced by a variety of practices.  The practices that will work best for you will be the ones that feel right.  These practices include: meditation, mindfulness, yoga, chi kung, contemplative prayer, exploring silence, development of intuition, energy and healing practices, out of body exploration, spiritual teachers, vision quest, ritualistic dance, voice/sound practice, and other ways of creative expression and so much more.  You can explore for a while and see what works for you or you can take up a simple practice like mindfulness or exploring your silence and let yourself be guided to your path of light. 

Along the way it will be come clear to you that you feel more alive, your feel more focused, you have a deeper sense of peace and your heart feels fully engaged in what you are doing.  When you realized you have arrived within your own light, you can then let your light shine out into whatever you do and wherever you go. 

Stoking the flames of your light is doing what works to bring all your passion to life.  The inner journey will be your source as you deepen your relationship with your higher nature/Higher Self/ Spirit.  Explore tapping into who you are beyond your ordinary mind, beyond your ego and personality.  This you beyond your thoughts will be so freeing that you will naturally go more toward the higher light within.  This higher light is one with the Great Source of the Universe. 

The brighter your light the more you will be a positive force on the planet.  Letting your light shine as fully as possible will enrich all of us.      



Notes To The World, Part 8.5 – You Can Shop Till You Drop

Our paper was full of advertising, so too are the airways and shopping time is here.  I have focused this series on the higher realms of human possibility but today I wanted to focus on a place we may have lost our way but could have fun doing it.  First I have to admit, I love to shop especially for good sales so I am not writing this from a place of being above the shopping frenzy.  Having nice things and giving nice things to others feels good.

We Americans are shoppers and that is because we have so much to choose from and live in such abundance that we keep thinking spending is what we should do.  Abundance and spending are generally good things and helpful to a sluggish economy.  Spending beyond our limits is not so good and spending to feel better may not be so good.  Shopping because it is fun and because we like cool things can be enjoyable.  Giving as a Christmas practice is a tradition most of us have been raised with and this time of year it just seems like spending money is a mindset past on from families and society.  Do we spend and give because we feel we should or because we care?

If we step back and examine what we are up to then we may see something about our behavior and ourselves.  We may see that we love giving and receiving which would be a positive awareness.  We may notice that we do what we do because we always have or feel like we are suppose to.  This insight may invite us to examine our behavior to see if we want to continue.  If we continue we might notice the quality of our giving is more authentic and from the heart.  If we look at what we do and make changes, these changes might enrich our experience. 

I have a client that feels bad because he is broke and is worried about not being able to buy gifts for his kids this Christmas.  I suspect they are just glad to have the family back together after both parents came apart from using drugs.  Love and a stable and healthy home to me is the best gift they can give their three children.  Anything else would be a bonus. 

Today the goods will fly off the shelf.  Some people will get to stores as early as 4am for better deals.  Someone told me about a store where people get in line for a few days before the sales begins.  This early in line stuff seems over the top to me but maybe these fellow human beings enjoy giving to the people they love and feel the inconvenience is worth it.   Maybe it is their way of showing love for others? 

The point here is that we humans can be habit driven and unconsciously do what we think we should and that is not innately bad.  However if we were to examine what we are up to we might gain some valuable insight into how we can raise the quality of what we are doing and how we are giving. 

So shop to your hearts delight but take a minute at least to be conscious of what you are doing so you can bring more awareness into your life. 

Two additional thoughts: Desire can be a really positive thing because it is a calling us to a higher expression. Also When you are out buying remember to shop locally and support the small businesses in your community.



Happy Thanksgiving To All

Today is a good day to be thankful because we in this country have so much especially compared to people in many other countries.  Look around you and see the people you love and all the great stuff you have and take a moment to appreciate the life you live.

I send you all peace and joy and thank you for being part of my blog community.  It is a great honor for me to know that you care enough to tune in and that you are about making a difference.

Joseph

Being A Therapist Is A Lot Of Work

The treatment program that I am the therapist in is up and running again after a 10 month budget issues break and it has everybody stirred up.  The program is full already in less than two weeks because there is such a need in our community.  The clients are uncomfortable because they are early in recovery and the rules are being adapted as needed.  The staff is uncomfortable because they are unsure how much to be involved in addition to their work in the detox program and what is expected of them in controlling the treatment clients.  It seems there is an edge on both sides as uncertainty rules and words have been exchanged that are less than supportive of each other. 

When people get together especially in a charged environment, sparks tend to fly.  There is a need for structure and a need for freedom of expression.  There is also a need for compassion on both sides.  We have people who are very fragile emotionally and others who want to help but feel the need to institute control.  I get to watch the fireworks and sooth individuals who lose their balance. 

Today I had two clients heated up towards each other and I had to step into the middle even if they didn’t want me to, and were so sure the other was wrong.  This role is not one I enjoy but in a close environment this is inevitable especially between people who are emotionally raw after numbing themselves out from alcohol and drugs.  Thankfully it didn’t take long to get to the point where they understood each other and left the intervention with a hug.

Most addicts I have met in my many years working with this population use drugs and alcohol to deal with what is going on inside and the use gets out of control.  Of the six in the program, I have two clients that are ex-military, and four that come from abusive and addictive families.  Their use was for self-medication to numb the suffering of their past.  I have to help them heal the inside so they get live without the need to self-medicate.

It feels good to have the program going again but it is really intense and I have to take good care of myself or I will burn out quickly.  I am already looking forward to Thanksgiving and the 4- day weekend I have lined up. 

I will take off Thanksgiving from blogging and return on Friday with Part 9 of the N2W series.  I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving and I am truly grateful you take the time out of your busy day and check in with my blog.  Thank You so much.