You have much greater control over your own mind when you are aware of the programming that has been going on all of your life. From the moment you came into being, there has been a constant barrage of information coming your direction. This information began inside your mother and has most likely never slowed down.
Since you came out into the world there has been endless influence and feedback from all the people and circumstances of your life. All of this programming adds up to a great amount of unsorted ideas, information, beliefs, etc. Unless you become mindful and/or aware to these influences they unconsciously run your life.
This post today is about drawing your attention inward to help you become more aware of the ideas and beliefs you acquired along the way. With the hope you will become conscious enough to choose the influences that shape you and your world from now on. Becoming a more conscious human being enriches your life in endless ways and can set you free of self limits you picked up trying to figure out how to be a human being.
In my 35 plus years of working intensely with people I have come upon some very common false beliefs. The following 10 false beliefs may or may not limit your experience of life today:
1. You are not an okay person. These messages came to you from your family, peers, your schooling, your church and now mostly from yourself as an adult. This idea of you not being okay is totally false. The people who said you were not okay were not okay with themselves. This false idea of self is programmed into most of us even by very well intended and loving human beings. They were wrong and you are mistaken if you have the belief that you are not an okay person. The good news is you can change that idea right now by changing your thoughts about yourself. Focus on accepting and appreciating who you are.
2. You are a bad person. Like the “not okay” above this one gets more specific by telling you that you are bad for the way you behave, for the sins you commit, and for the rules you break. There is really no such thing as a bad other than a label people put on other people and themselves. Yes there are people who do terrible things but they are the exception. Sin, often linked to being a bad person, does not exist other than as a religious idea. There was no original sin that too is a human invention. The rules you violated upset the rule makers but they do not make you bad. Do your best to catch the judging mind and stop any further labeling of self.
3. You are not good enough, you don’t deserve. This is a false message most of you have received that often is hard to shake. People who didn’t feel okay about themselves taught you that you were not good enough or deserving of what you want. Again the institutions of the world often teach you aren’t good enough. Families, schools and religion too often make you feel like you don’t deserve the life you want to have. Then when you become an adult you don’t let in the good things because you feel undeserving. You deserve the life you desire so go for it.
4. You are not smart enough. Intelligence comes in many forms but in school it’s determined by math and language skills. If neither of those were your strengths in your early years you may graduate from school with lots of self-doubt about how smart you are. You can also be smart in body intelligence (athletics, dance etc), in creativity, in social skills, in mechanical skills and other ways of personal brilliance. You are more than smart enough for the life you want to live. There is unique genius in you waiting to be discovered.
5. You are not creative. Your creativity may not be drawing or coloring within the lines. You could be a creative genius in graffiti, in hip hop music, in designing video games, in the way you communicate with others, or in the way you parent your children with great compassion. The more you explore your creativity the more it seems to flow. Everyone is creative. When you find your ways of creating you will feel full of aliveness and feel purposeful.
6. Your body is not okay. This is a constant message in our society, it is no wonder you are not okay with your own body. Diet books out sell most other non-fiction books. Yes you want a healthy body but it needs to start with feeling okay with who you are and then work at getting better if that is what you want. The products industry is heavily invested in the idea of selling you stuff because they promote not feeling okay about yourself or your body. Stand in front of a mirror every day and be okay with it. If you want to change it do so with positive focus and acceptance all along the way.
7. You are not loveable. This message is false and always will be but it comes to you from others who don’t know how to love themselves. Self-love is most important for a positive experience of life. When you love and accept yourself as you are, others will love you to. Do not waste your time seeking the approval of others. Approve of yourself and the rest will take care of itself. You may have been raised by people who had closed their hearts. That does not make you unlovable; it makes them not able to love. Treat yourself with loving-kindness every day.
8. Your feelings are not okay. All your feeling, every one of them, are okay. Some feelings are more difficult to deal with and may cause others to feel uncomfortable. Feelings like fear, anger and hate are highly charged and may seem both scary inside and to those around you. They are okay as feelings but may need some attention. Unexpressed or stuffed feelings build a big charge inside until you numb out or explode. All feelings if acknowledged naturally change to other feelings. If you can get to acceptance with how you feel, you feel positive about yourself. All difficult feelings come from being stuck in the past or worried about the future (fear, anger, hate, worry etc.). All positive feelings come in the present moment (love, joy peace, appreciation, hope etc.)
9. Your sexuality is bad. Religion especially seems to want to make our sexuality bad. This is a false belief generated by people who don’t want others to have pleasure in life. If sexuality is denied or suppressed it often comes out in very unhealthy ways, priests sexual abuse, porn for those who sit in piety over others, fear of LGBT etc. Being a sexual being makes you healthy and alive. Enjoy yourself and your intimacy with others and ignore those who fear pleasure. Intimacy means you have an open heart.
10. You are a failure. There is no such thing as failure, there is just feedback. If things aren’t working out very well, maybe you are caught up in trying to do something that isn’t right for you or trying to live up to other people’s expectations. That could feel like failure but you can change that. Schools that fail students are doing a poor job in their teaching. Find your own way and you will thrive at what you do. Failure is a false idea invented by the judging mind. If you imagine a world that includes what you love to do, you will have great joy and real success.
Many of the above 10 false beliefs are programmed in us by people who don’t even know who they are or what their truth is. Those that judge others do so because they live by what others tell them is the truth and lack compassion for people who see the world differently. Please leave the old ideas and beliefs on the junk pile of human experiences gone off course. Instead find your own truth by listening inward to your heart, your intuition and your higher nature. Then go boldly into the world and make a positive difference just by being you as fully as you can.
One last thought, a powerful message to carry inside is, I totally and completely love and accept myself. If you know tapping or EFT then use this statement to rewire your brain. You can also simply put one hand on the back of you head and one on the front of your head and do this affirmation until you feel you have reprogrammed yourself to be the positive and loving you.