Two nights ago I heard about the death of a recent client that had been doing well in her recovery. She had a relapse (not uncommon) and began drinking a couple of weeks ago. It seems she most likely drank herself to death. She was full of such light when she was sober. She touched people by just being who she was. Somewhere inside however was someone who could not recover from some misguided childhood ideas that she was not ok. This is a very sad loss for all of us that had such great hope for her. May she find peace and come back again to share her light.
The sadness I feel is also for all who grow up feeling not ok because of the life they grew up in. There is no blame just curiosity about how anyone can plant the idea in a child’s mind that they are anything less then wonderful. All parents and teachers have very challenging work but please do not ever put self-doubt into any little person’s mind. Schools that teach kids and fail them are really the failure not the children. Parent’s who project their own issues onto their children hurt them more then they are aware enough to understand.
Compassion is always a better place to put our energy rather than criticism. If someone struggles they need more love not a person tell them they are not ok. Even the best intended people sometimes say things and act in certain ways that are critical or judging. These mistakes if a person is mindful can be repaired with love and kindness.
If the ego-mind is involved however being critical and judging is all part of what it does, in some way trying to control or offset its own self-doubt. It seems very important to me that we take the time to sense how we are doing and see our affects on others and make sure an open heart and compassion is present in our interactions with all beings.
How are you doing with being compassionate with your interactions with others? Please if you catch yourself being less then open hearted and supportive; kindly redirect yourself to the ways of compassion. Being kind with self is a good way to get started.