I have been thinking about why most of us deny many of the emotions that come up. Almost every thought we have has an emotional component and we all know we have very busy minds. So if we have lots of thoughts, then we have lots of emotions being activated whether we acknowledge them our not. Let's explore what might be getting in our way from acknowledging all we feel, then let's look at some ways to become more aware of our interior landscape of emotions. The reason this emotional exploration is important is that we are feeling creatures who must express ourselves emotionally to be fully alive, energized, and in the best health.
What stops us from being aware of all that we feel inside? Here are some possible explanations:
* Is it the social conditioning that trains us to ignore our emotions?
* Do we think it is safer to not feel?
* Does denying emotions make them go away?
* Do our families teach us to ignore or deny feelings as they do to keep things under control?
* Schools seem to teach everyone to behave, does that mean feeling only the approved emotions?
* Many churches/belief systems mistakenly teach us to judge our feeling as good or bad so maybe we try not to be bad?
* Many of us are taught the to feel feeling is a sign of weakness. Do you believe that?
* Men and most women are taught to not show emotions because they would look less than cool? Does that sound familiar?
* The ego-mind likes to avoid emotions because it feels more in control. Is our ego tied to being in control?
* Does it feel safer to live in our thoughts and to stay away from the mystery of emotions?
* If we are afraid of our feelings how do we open to love? Is love an emotional or mental state?
* The rationalizing mind prefers to keep things explainable so does it push our feelings out of conscious awareness?
* If we were to tap into an emotional flow within us would if be overflowing or barely felt?
* Songs allow for feelings, creativity allows for feeling, how come you and I discount them?
* Are some feeling ok in our mind and some not? What makes them ok and what makes them not?
* Does suppressing emotions make us feel safer and happier?
* Do we feel it is our right to feel what we feel?
* Do we doubt ourselves and therefore doubt what we feel?
* Do we feel that feelings don't really matter so we tend to ignore them?
This is just a few of the questions that may explain our reluctance to feel. Now what do you do to offset this denying of emotions?
* First make a commitment to yourself to become aware of you as a feeling human being
* Second do your best to not judge your feelings because they are neither good nor bad, they are just feelings
* Pay attention and acknowledge every feeling you become aware of throughout the day. This is a private process in general and no one needs to hear about what you are feeling if you don't want to share
* Sharing feelings with people who are willing to listen and not judge is helpful
* Acknowledging your feelings is most important because that sends a message you that what you feel is ok.
* Unexpressed emotions become tension in your body, so when you feel tense, go explore the emotions that are going on inside
* Take full responsibility for all you feel, no one else makes you feel what you feel. In fact your feeling come most often from the thoughts you have in reaction to the events and people in your life
* Feeling feelings make you feel alive
* Your heart and body are the place in you where feelings are felt. Have an open heart and be fully in your body
* If you feel either the large flow of energy or you feel stuffed up energetically, you are experiencing emotions
In all situations your thoughts about yourself and your life create either emotional contraction or expansion. Love and hope cause you to expand and be open. Fear and worry cause you to close down. Feelings are part of what makes you a wonderful being with the capacity for passion, sadness, caring, joy, and hope.