I was working with a client today at the treatment program and she was crying as she struggled with finding her voice in the world. I did what I do best; I listened with compassion. She had been conditioned by her parents especially her mother to believe she was not “ok”. Her parents were not bad but probably didn’t feel “ok” about them selves. Now after a bout with alcoholism this still young woman is in search of who she is and what she feels. She is thawing out from a long numbing that happens when you hide from yourself through the use of alcohol and drugs. This hiding is not something people plan but the substance they abuse becomes their way to escape from all the hurt they feel. Often alcohol or drug abuse is a way of self-medication.
Others turn to different ways to hide from all their pain or suffering. They hope to find relief in relationships but they usually attract people who are also struggling. Some choose to work so much that they are have no time to feel all that needs healing. There are those who deny there is anything not right inside and use religion hoping for others to tell them what to think and feel. Still others wade through the past hurts in a foggy state of depression.
Those that meet the past pains and wrong doings of others usually can find a way to heal the hurt. Professional help can often make a positive difference. Self-exploration and the insights that come from that can bring a person into more of a whole state.
Most of us have past that still shapes the way we are living in the present. If you think you don’t have those past dings of life than you may be right. Most likely however there is some denial going on because the growing up process almost always crosses paths with things that hurt or don’t go well. This flawed upbringing is often the way of human nature.
So what can you do? Here are some quick tips but the process may take some time so patience is advised:
• Pay attention to what you feel
• Get to know your thoughts
• Replace any inner dialogue that is unkind with kindness
• Open your heart to who you are with flaws and all
• Forgive the past and move on
• Imagine yourself being who you want to be
• Be grateful for all you have and all you are becoming
• Find something to be joyous about every day
Enjoy the moments of today they are a gift for you and your healing. I will be back tomorrow.