Self Care is about tending to ourselves so we can remain healthy mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. In a world that seems to push our limits of sanity, stress our bodies, overtax our heart, and leave us little time for quiet introspection, we need a plan to care for self. Here are 20 of the best ideas I know as a mental health professional/explorer of the human potential to keep us healthy in a balanced and expansive way.
1. Our minds are thought creating machines so it is very important to understand what kind of thoughts we are creating, what kind of feelings those thoughts are generating and what kind of behaviors we have because of our thoughts and feelings. This ability to know our thoughts, feelings and behaviors is called Mindfulness. Mindfulness is an internal practice that can be a wonderful source of personal freedom. When we know what is going on inside we can shape our experience of the world. Freedom is to take full responsibility for our thoughts and feelings. But before we believe in the power of our thoughts we must first come to the awareness that thoughts are not real. Thoughts are just groups of words we give meaning to, so what works best if to give meaning to positive words which then create a positive experience of life.
2. Our bodies when taken care of serve us well through an entire lifetime. A body well cared for through healthy diet, exercise, and plenty of rest and relaxation, will allow us feel fully alive in what we do. A fit, strong and flexible body will feel good to be in. Eating to energize and for enjoyment will make us feel positive. Eating to self-sooth can lead to stuffing emotions and make us not feel so great. Our body is really a temple for our soul and our purposeful expression here in our life. Taking good care of our body will help us feel lighter and more energized.
3. We are all feeling creatures and to feel is to be alive. To not feel is to numb out. Feeling means to experience our emotions as they are without judgment. There are no good or bad feelings. Emotions are all ok, some more enjoyable and some uncomfortable. To feel what we feel means we are able to experience all of life. Acknowledged feelings quickly transforms them into other feelings; unexpressed emotions become tension and tightness in the body. The more we accept ourselves and what we feel, the easier life will be. Feelings are feedback, if we are heading in the right direction we will feel positive, if we have gone off course we will feel uneasy.
4. The Spirit within us is there to be explored and act as a kind of an internal GPS system designed to show us the way to realize our highest and fullest expression as a human being. Each of us has our own personal expression of our spirit and that is best explored internally. Spirit can be explored in meditation, in silence, in prayer, on a walk in nature, reading inspirational writings, through simple acts of kindness, and in many other ways. The most important thing about Spirit is that in silence its infinite nature can be explored.
5. It is essential to move energy to take good care of ourselves. Moving energy includes working out, taking a walk around the building, standing up and stretching, breathing deeply, an art project, singing in your car, Reiki, crying over loss, going for an intense walk and talk with a friend, dancing to the music on your Shuffle or doing any vigorous activity that makes your body feel alive. Moving energy gets the body flowing and moves it from stuck to back into action. Moving energy wakes up the immune system, gets the mind to clear up, pumps up the heart, re-energized the body and releases pent up emotions.
6. Living full in the present takes forgiveness, letting go, and a determination to move on. The past has no influence over us unless we carry it forward. This is why forgiveness is so important to living fully. If we do not forgive and let go of what has gone on, then we are destined to relive it in our minds. Forgiveness is for us when we forgive others or our own screw-ups. Forgiveness sets up free to leave the past behind and to live in the now. Letting go means not holding on anymore. Think about how heavy it gets in our lives if we are carrying around unfinished business. Let go today of all the past and live fully in the now.
7. Don't take anything personally, 99.9% of what others think and feel have nothing to do with us. Maybe .1% of the time they are obsessing about someone else’s actions or inactions. What others think of us is none of our business and it should remain that way. Most of what others think is mostly their own projections of themselves onto others. If we are dependent on what others think of us, we are prisoners of our own faulty thinking. There is no way we can get everyone to like us while being true to who we really are inside. Be free of the opinion of others and love who we are unconditionally.
8. We must do our inner work to feel ok about our lives. Inner work is to continue to grow, to seek further awareness, to understand our own thoughts and emotions, and to learn what areas we need to grow and what areas are assets within. Inner work is taking the time to be a more conscious and compassionate human being. Inner work is to appreciate who we are and to continue to explore our own potential. Inner work is to explore our shadow side, our uncomfortable feelings, our resentments and to move each day towards more understanding and joy in our own lives.
9. We all have things that make us upset and therefore it is helpful to recognize our triggers. What makes us mad, upset, sets us off or unrealistic in our expectations? Awareness about our own triggers allows us to take back control from those that like to push our buttons. Maybe we like to be in control, are too competitive, insist on being right or getting the last word in. If we know out triggers we can then take our power back from those who want to be in control. With awareness we can shrink our triggers and be less reactive and more at peace within.
10. If there is one of the first 10 ideas that stands out for me it is the importance of listening inward, of paying attention to our intuition. When we pay attention to what we know inside is right for us, things work out great and we feel alive and healthy. If we instead ignore our intuitive knowing then we will inevitable cause suffering for ourselves and often for those we care about the most. This inner guidance system is there for a purpose and that purpose it to guide us to be all that we are capable of being. There is always the guidance we need if we commit to listening inside.
I will be back tomorrow with Part Two. Enjoy your day.
Unconditional Love From Family Is A Joy To Receive
Have you heard of Bob’s Red Mill? I was sitting in their healthy store and restaurant in my hometown of Milwaukie, Oregon for brunch yesterday with my wife and sister and some wonderful unexpected guests. My cousin Sharon, her husband Jerry and her daughter Vanessa joined us. Sharon reads my blog regularly and wanted to say hi while I was in town. I was very touched by that act of loving-kindness.
There is nothing like the unconditional love of family and I realized from this visit to Oregon how much I miss this unquestioned kind of love. The trip out there for the wedding was wonderful because I got to see my cousin and her family, my dear sister Joan, my brother Jim and his new wife, my brother John and his beautiful little twins, my sister Kathleen and her family, and my Dad and his wife Shirley. My family reminds me of how open my heart is both for receiving and giving. This effortless give and take of love is such a wonderful gift. The visit was an oasis for my heart to recharge.
Thank you Sharon, Jerry and Vanessa, you are all beautiful souls with wonderful hearts. I was blessed by my encounter with you. I was also blessed by having some fun time with my sister Joan who struggles at times because she wants more love in her live. I was blessed by Dad and Shirley who fed us often and treated us so kindly. I was blessed by my brothers who are amazing people living big in the world and in their hearts. I was blessed by my sister Kathleen, Ken and their boys who are always glad to share love with us. Life is good when there is so much love flowing.
Yes this post is a bit of a love fest. What could be better than that in a world, which sometimes seems to have forgotten the importance of an open heart and compassion? I hope you have lots of love in your life and you get to experience unconditional love regularly. We all deserve this kind of love because it refuels us to do what we are here to do. Have a great rest of the week.
If you have lots of love don’t forget to let those who love you know how much you appreciate them.
New And Improved Thinking
In a previous post I mentioned the idea of Tony Robbins about 1% improvement over 100 days equals 100% improvement. This is a great idea that makes change realistic. Probably the most powerful place you and I can make change happen is in our thinking. I want to share a few areas where improving thoughts will mean improving the quality of life we live.
Opening The Heart – If you truly want to enhance your life it is as simple as developing self-love. Every person I have every met or worked with has thoughts that are less than loving toward self. Addicts particularly dislike themselves therefore the numbing out is their way of coping. Most of the rest of us learned to feel not ok about ourselves because of our parents low self-esteem, because of our judgmental driven school system, because of religion’s influence of sin, guilt etc., and because of society’s rights and wrongs. This is not to blame these influences but simply to recognize them as barriers to our well-being.
Offsetting our conditioning takes consistent work and here is a practice worth exploring. Let’s use the 1% idea and work on self-love one percent at a time. Stand in front of mirror and look into your own eyes and tell yourself, “I love who I am in the present moment and each day I love myself more." Now the 1% improvement – we have about 50,000 thoughts per day, 80-90% are the same as the day before. So your task if you are willing is to begin to listen in on how you talk to yourself and start to eliminate any critical self-talk, any unkind language directed at yourself. This means being mindful to your own thoughts and it will take work. As you catch negative self-talk or thoughts, please replace them with a self-caring statement like, “Even though I am imperfect, I totally love and accept myself.”
As you reduce the negative inner dialogue 1% a day by 3.5 months you will have a new and greatly improved sense of self. Self-love opens you up to having the experiences of life you want in your heart. Without self-love you are the greatest barrier to what you want. Having compassion and caring for the unique and wonderful person you have the potential to realize, opens you up in ways that will bring peace of mind and the freedom to be fully who you are.
Opening To Success and Prosperity – If you are not as successful or prosperous as you desire then you are in the way via your thoughts. If you completely feel you deserve a wonderful life, with great success, and financial prosperity then you would be living that now. If you are not where you want to be then it is time for a thought tune-up. Please avoid any judgments of you being good or bad that is just the working of the ego. Instead take on the position of simply noting what is working and what is not and then course correct through your thoughts and self-talk.
In my own life, I have been blessed in so many ways and yet the flow of prosperity has been held up by the limits I hold onto deep inside. I have begun a 1% improvement by playing with the idea of what a wealthy flow of money would feel like in my life. The feelings include a deep and relaxed sense of relief, real freedom to live and do as I intuitive know, and a great feeling of joy and peace of mind.
Now let’s talk about a 1% practice you can incorporate. Each night as you are lie down and began slowing down for sleep, take some quiet time to imagine wealth, success, new opportunities, an abundant flow, or whatever it is that you desire. Imagine what it would feel like to have what you want. If it is “success” say words like, “Success is a wonderful experience and I am enjoying it” or “ Each day I open to more and more success.” Use a phrase that you feel comfortable with, and it is ok to fine tuning this phrase as you go.
The most important things is that you feel open to what you want and that if you sense any blockage inside, you must go exploring to see how you are getting in your own way. If your conscious mind is clear and focused on what it wants then the subconscious mind will do as it is directed. 1% improvement daily for opening to the life you want will bring 100% improvement in a very short while.
Expanding to Greater Health – How has your health been lately? If there has been problems maybe you mind needs an adjustment. You have this amazing immune system that will keep you fully healthy unless you get in your own way. This is not in any way meant to blame your thinking as the cause of your health issues instead it is an invitation to get your thoughts in order to help expand your health. Unexpressed emotions and negative thoughts possibly compromise the immune system so feel what you feel and think thoughts that are positive and healthy. When you care for yourself, do what is right for your body, feel what you feel, and have a supportive and healthy inner dialogue your health will naturally improve.
Let’s now look at an improvement strategy of 1% per day. There are a number of things you can do daily to expand your health including: drinking more water, eating healthier, getting daily exercise, getting enough sleep, thinking happier thoughts and much more. Choose a path to work on like more exercise and began to find ways to get your mind to support your working out. Maybe you make a commitment to walk 5 minutes more each day or sign up for a gym and a trainer and together you put together a custom designed program, which you commit to for the next 3 months. Each day you get more fit and in 100 days your body will feel the difference.
Let me know how this goes for you and if you have any questions. In the near future I will write more about how to get our mind in line for creating a more, loving, joyous, prosperous, healthy and peaceful life.
Two Important Notes: I will be in Oregon for my brother’s wedding from Thursday until Monday evening the 14th of September. Most likely there will not be any posts during that time.
As you may have noticed my wife and I are redesigning this site. Please be patient as we try to figure out all that needs to happen. It should be more interesting of a site when we are done and the hope is to have more opportunities for income to support my writing.
New Learning Makes Us Feel More Alive
As fall gets closer I find myself getting ready to get more focused. I think this innate tendency has been magnified in me because of so many years in school. There were 22 years of Fall term in my life. When September comes around I start planning what education I will pursue. My thoughts about what to learn are still up in the air but I sense I wanted to take on something new something that pushes me out of my comfort zone.
What comes to mind is a challenge like learning a language maybe Italian, flying a small plane which is scary, explore new fitness strategies that would be fun and different, maybe learn to teach golf or to train dogs, maybe take a singing performance class, travel and explore new places, be creative in new ways, take a math class which I have never been good at, get a video camera and explore doing videos for my blog, take up photography, go on a 10-day silent retreat, do a vision quest and I am sure some other ideas as I open to what comes to mind.
If you were to take on something new this fall to explore an interest or a potential within you, what would you do? Is there something you have always wanted to do? Do you find yourself interested in something out of your comfort zone? What would be both scary and exciting to do? Would you be willing to take a risk and go for something you know inside you really want to do? What is holding you back from expressing yourself more fully?
The biggest barriers to going for the life we really want are within. These barriers can include: fear of failure, the need for approval of others, self-doubt, ignoring the intuitive knowing within, being overly practical, not listening to your heart and old beliefs that keep you stuck in the muck of confusion and little or no confidence. These are all limiting mind states that can change with new and improved thinking. I will have more on this in upcoming posts.
In Chaotic Times, Peace Begins Within.
Summer is slipping away and I feel uneasy about that. Living here is Colorado can be so harsh for us that love to bike, run, play golf and warm evening walks. Winter and I get along but only because I give in to what is, nature never gives in. Sometimes I worry about what we are doing to nature however as our available clean water and air are compromised because soulless corporations pollute without conscience.
In just a few days my wife and I will get on a plane to Portland, OR. My brother is getting married. I won’t be blogging from Friday through Monday unless I can squeeze some writing in over theses busy days.
It will be good to see my family and to touch into their lives that all seem so distant sometimes. Are we ever really close to anyone? I feel close to my wife and care about many people but our connections are sometimes so brief. Yet in this moment I also realize the endless connection we also have all the time on another plane of reality called higher consciousness. Maybe it is only the ego that remains distant and the higher self is always connected to all?
Two books I am reading seem more impactful the more I read. Michael Murphy’s Golf In the Kingdom has such a level of depth that I feel it holds its own with any other consciousness raising stories. If you at all enjoy golf from the inside out you will value this book.
Alice Walker must be one of the most important writers of our time and this book is a must read for all those interested in progressive change. The book I am being educated by is, We Are The Ones We Have Been Waiting For. These two summer reads are a real boost to the stream of inspiration that is flowing through my life.
I am rambling a bit tossing in different ideas. There is so much political stuff that I want to rant about but instead I am restraining myself because it just gets me riled up. There is much to be stirred up about just trying to buck the status quo. It is my deep concern that if things don’t change and the force of greed and power continue their control we are all in serious trouble. Trouble because there are powerful forces that will do anything and everything to keep in control.
It seems the many traditional religious followers and those lacking critical thinking are ponds in waiting to disrupt any real change. What is needed is unclear because how do you fight off the fear driven passions of those who just want to be mindlessly part of something even if it means checking the rational mind at the door?
How do we who think, who question, who intuit, who have compassion take back the movement that seemed to begin with the election of President Obama. He is so obviously drowning in the pressures of the elite power base that will not allow change unless we make it happen.
I am rambling again, there is much going on in my head. It is time to stop now and cool the jet of my mind trying to make sense out of what makes little sense. Peace begins inside with a quieting mind and awareness of my emotions. Have a peaceful and joyous week.
Four Life Lessons To Make Our World A Better Place
Sunday morning and it is very quiet around here. I am sitting at my computer and listening inward as I write. There is so much going on in the world and so many thoughts and feelings about these events, situations. There is something here for us all to learn in the midst of such chaos. If we learn it we continue to evolve if we don’t maybe we wipe ourselves out and the planet is left to heal itself. I am unsure but here is what comes to mind, as I think about the lessons available for us to learn.
First - We would benefit greatly from taking care of our own interior landscape. To do this we must become mindful of our thoughts and feelings and the whispering wisdom of our higher self. Our thoughts are just a jumble of words we give meaning to therefore they are not real. Yes most thoughts seem very real but they are only going on in our minds and to watch them is to know most of them are the same ones from the day before. We think but too often we simply repeat limiting ideas and beliefs and we let these ideas limit us.
Feelings are always generated by our thoughts. Even though we want to blame others and situations for our emotions, that is inaccurate because our feelings come from our reactive thoughts. Everything we feel inside is generated from our thinking not from anyone or anything else. Taking responsibility for our feelings is a healthy thing to do. Here is a diagram that might be helpful:
SITUATIONS = THOUGHTS = EMOTIONS = BEHAVIORS
We are in constant reaction to the world around us but that reaction is within caused by our thoughts not by what is going on. This is why thoughts need to be examined. How we feel is always about how we think.
The intuitive wisdom in us is unlimited and always there to guide us to a higher expression of who we are. We need to listen in so we can do our part to encourage the positive expansion of our human potential and the potential of all of humanity.
Second – This expansion potential within us is directly related to our consciousness. The more conscious we are of ourselves and the world around us, the more we awaken to what is possible in us and encourage that awakening in others. There is a collective consciousness that expands as we expand. In other words as each of us becomes more fully awakened so too does the collective consciousness.
The collective wisdom of the planet is available to all human beings on the planet if they can quiet down and listen inward. Closed minds and rigid belief systems keep people from listening inward. Those out of touch with this higher collective knowing are often fearful and angry.
Third – We are all connected at all times with each other. On this tiny speck called Earth in this massive universe, if we tune in we know that all are our brothers and sisters. Yes there are many beliefs and ideas that appear to separate us but those are us letting our thoughts get in the way of our connection.
This awareness of this unity of all living beings on the planet is called Unity Consciousness. As we learn to open up, we will sense that who we are is part of a fellowship of living beings on this tiny outpost somewhere under the guidance of forces so much greater than us. These forces shape and hold together the universe and beyond. It is important that we find our humility and humanity by touching upon our insignificant nature. That does not mean we do not matter, in fact our higher nature matter greatly as it is aligned with all others. Together as we realize our highest expression, we will be able to care for each other and our precious gem of a planet.
Fourth – We are here to express our hearts, to love, to have compassion, to care for ourselves and others, to be kind, and to be understanding. There is no greater human expression than love and compassion. The world is greatly in need of the realization of our compassionate potential. All the problems we face at this moment in history have compassionate solutions and when we learn to be guided by our hearts then all will work out for the best for everyone.
Without heart you have fear and profit as the driving forces and we all see the mess we have gotten in from that. Love is the opposite of fear, it is the expanding state, the open and giving state. All helpful and healthy solutions come from love and compassion. To have compassion means to have an open heart and understanding for our fellow humans. Love is the answer to all our questions. Love is the solution to all of our problems. If we tune in and connect with our hearts, everything will work out just great.
Please contemplate these ideas and let me know which ones resonate with you.
The Voices Of Reason Must Win Out Over The Voices Of Fear And Hate?
Yesterday was my 900th post here at my blog. YEAH!!! That is a lot of inspiration that seems to be flowing through my fingers effortless most of the time. This inspiration is available to everyone if they simply allow it to happen.
Yesterday I wrote about our inner story as a way to shape the outer experience of our life. Today I am wondering what the inner story is of those that are afraid of having their children listen to President Obama? Why are they afraid? Do their fear loosing control? Do they fear other ideas then their own? Do their fear their children having thoughts different than theirs? Do they actually believe their political viewpoints are in danger of being wiped out? Do they feel so out of control? Are they racists? Are they so run by their anger and judgments that they can’t see straight? What do you think?
Fear and anger seems to be dominating emotions since Obama became president. Is it because of his color? Is it because people hate and don’t even know why? It seems like the dark side of many people is coming to the surface? Fear is such a powerful force and anger, hate and blaming is what seems to be showing up.
President Obama did not create the mess we are in, he is trying to get us out of it and there are no clear solutions. The previous 8 years were great for corporations and the rich as money got more concentrated in fewer hands. Unregulated commerce and the corporation of America are the cause of many of our problems yet these very angry and fearful people seem to want to blame it all on Obama. That makes no sense at all.
There is no question we need health insurance reform, how come the vocal few are having so much influence over what will affect us all? Do we all need to get more vocal? Have you contacted your elected officials lately and let them know what reasonable people want? The voices of reason need to win out over the voices of fear and hate.
The debate is really about our nation moving forward toward greater health not trying to hold on to old thinking and old stuck ways. This seems to me to be about the expansion of human consciousness and compassion vs. fear and its need to be in control. What are your thoughts?
What Is You Inner Healing Story?
One of the ways we work with our clients in early recovery is to try to get them to write a healing story of their live free from the drinking and drugging. As a therapist I often join in and explore the themes they are exploring. My writing took an unusual turn and I wrote a poem about my future story. It is my hope that something in these words my have meaning for you on this first Friday of September.
Thank You Inner Story
In the midst of the moment
The mind plants its seeds
Would I yet more than meet my needs
Sea scents, lightness of being
Joy in the flow of the know
Wandering but inner directed
Deep knowing, deep flowing
Mindfully present in the now
Never questioning about the how
Beautiful sunsets end the day
Still night to be explored our way
Divine moments over and over
Eyes that shine brightly
Restful peace fills nightly
Quiet, still, knowing
Everything is going to be all right
Even more as I stretch toward the light
Passionate purpose shines
Slowing down to intersect with the present
Simple pleasures fully enjoyed
Cool breezes, what is awakened
Freshness nurtured by taste
Living fluidly free from waste
Creativity waves keep rising
Friendly meals, talk about big deals
Freedom knocks daily at the door
It seems there is more and more
Giving and receiving in abundance
Makes life feel like a fun dance
Everything new in each day
Generous and often appreciated
Grateful inside and outside
Always in the truth, on the right side
Brilliant inspiration, dazzling insight
Heart in its ever expanding might
Who knows where the potential goes
Extraordinary, exhilaration, expanding
Amazing, healthy and energizing
Power to all the people all the time
One love, all in unity
Everybody has all they need now
Peace, Peace, Peace in the wow
Enjoy your 3 day weekend and I will be back to post soon.
Unexamined Thoughts Can Lead You To A Closed Mind
There is some really faulty thinking going on out there in the world of politics and unfortunately some people actually don’t question what others say. Here are some statements that seem so obviously not true so they must be questioned or the mind is wasted:
Former VP Cheney thinks he should be honored as hero for his role in Iraq.
GOP Chairman Michael Steele says to a person struggling to get by that this talk about people not being able to afford the health care they need is just for show and to get on TV.
GOP US Representative Michele Bachmann suggests everyone join together to slit their wrists and do whatever it takes to make sure we stop health care reform.
GOP US Representative Lynn Jenkins encourages her audience to hold out for the “next Great White Hope.”
What do all these people have in common? They all seem confused about some reality that only exists in their ego-minds.
VP Cheney thinks started an unnecessary war makes him a hero. It sounds more like he is a fool trying to fool us.
Mr. Steele must be in total denial that our system is not meeting the needs of many. He actually must be swallowing his own misinformation.
Congresswoman Bachmann is suggesting mass suicide to show we don’t need reform when in truth most of what she says supports more money being allocated for mental health issues like hers.
Congresswoman Jenkins is a racist and trying to give hope to other racist for change in this country. Actually educating people to have compassion and understanding would be more beneficial.
These are all minds that seem to have closed down and now only let in information that supports their viewpoints. Each totally believes the foolishness of their own thoughts. They must have forgotten two important keys to mental health: first, thoughts are not real, they are only words we give meaning to, and secondly our thoughts need to be constantly examined. Without examination and consciousness we are mostly run by the foolishness of old beliefs and ideas and even by the misinformation we spread.
Unexamined thoughts are too often what is running us when we don’t take the time to listen inward or to continue to learn and grow. There are too many that seem to have given up trying to find out the truth and instead blindly follow those who tell them what to think, believe and feel.
Please take the time to know your own thoughts and to constantly examine what is true or not. The world will be so much better off when we all do this regularly.
How To Use The Conscious and Subconscious Mind
Tonight after golf we stopped at a restaurant called Asian Fusion and had two of our favorite meals, sesame chicken (or tofu) and fried string beans, both were very tasty and my hunger is satisfied and my stomach is full. Ah ready to sit down and write my first draft of today’s entry.
My thoughts have been wandering down the boulevard of Conscious Mind and Subconscious Mind to explore the benefits of these ideas. The main premise is that the thoughts and ideas you have in your conscious mind get planted in your subconscious mind. The subconscious mind has the ability to manifest whatever gets put on order there because it has the key to the Storehouse of Infinite Supply. In other words what you think about in your conscious mind directs the subconscious to act accordingly.
If you plant seeds of fear, of self-doubt, of lack, of illness, of blame, of judgment, your harvest will be less than satisfying. If instead you plant seeds of love, of compassion, of hope, of abundance, of health and of success, your harvest will be bountiful and rewarding.
These ideas are not the new for my site but frankly to me they seem clearer. The concepts of conscious and subconscious thinking provide clarity about how to significantly alter your success by making sure you are using the conscious mind to plant the seeds you want. The conscious mind is something you can watch and significantly alter but you must be conscious. If you think without awareness through much of the day, you will have no idea what you are planting except by looking at the results. If things are going really well than your thinking is working for your advantage. Even then, being conscious of your thoughts would enhance your ability to be even more successful.
If your output is disappointing then your input must be off. A conscious mind has the ability to redirect when you are off course and to refine and enhance success when you are on course. Being conscious in your thoughts will maximize the potency of planting and allow what you want to be checked out from the supply house of the universe.
Try this simple practice: get clear of something you want in your life like love, health, more income, peace of mind, a better job or whatever. Have you conscious mind direct the subconscious mind to make this happen. Imagine this new desire coming into your life as if it is already there. If you plant these seeds daily in the morning and the evening within 1-3 weeks you will begin to see the results you want.
Let me know how it goes and I will let you know how my seed planting and harvesting work out.
Questions About Why We Humans Do What We Do
Lately as you may have noticed I have been in the questioning mode and therefore I thought I would indulge it since something inside is encouraging this process. Here are a rambling bunch of questions about the state of us humans that are on my mind lately and may be of interest to you:
1. How come so many people have stopped using their critical thinking minds and their compassionate hearts?
2. Why are the mental health programs cut when there are budget problems when these people need help more than anyone?
3. Why do people say they believe in the sanctity of all of life and yet support the US going to war?
4. How come people who call themselves Christians lie and are not charitable to all?
5. Why do politicians not care about being truthful and will say anything to get elected?
6. Why do people hate those who think and believe differently than they do? Is it fear?
7. How come honesty is no longer valued in politics, in religion, in business and in the news?
8. How come people listen to their radios and watch people on TV who spread misinformation and hate?
9. Who really cares about the homeless, the helpless and the disadvantaged other than us who try to help them?
10. How can people see those who suffer and not feel the need to do something to help?
11. Why do many of those who have so much have such judgment and disdain for those who do not?
12. How can people say they love others and yet are unwilling to sit and listen to their suffering with compassion?
13. How come so many corporations only really care about making money and are willing to destroy the planet or the lives of their employees to increase the profit margins?
14. How come every time a program is suggested to help the less fortunate, people shout socialism?
15. How come no one shouts socialism when the banks, auto makers, financial institutions, insurance companies and others got government money to straighten out their messes?
16. How come people become sheeple when ministers, political leaders, corporate executives tell them what to believe, how to think, and what to say?
17. How can universal health care be anything but what is right for all Americans?
18. How come so many lack the courage to stand up for what they believe in and leave it to others to figure it out?
19. How are you taking care of your body, mind, heart and spirit today to make sure you are healthy tomorrow?
20. If a miracle happened and the next day the world was just how you want it to be, what would that world be like?
These are a few of my latest questions about us as humans. What would you add?
Health Care Note: Check out Bill Moyer about healthcare reform and us Democrats being spineless. Send this note to your elected representatives.
What Happens To Those Who Pass On?
Saturday keeps coming back to me filled with interesting scenes, strong emotions and weighty impressions. The morning event was filled with such hope and good will. The afternoon so full of questions about how come people seems so out of touch with what was going on in their hearts? The evening was fun and uplifting. The sandwich effect of two wonderful experiences covering the emotional upheaval of the afternoon was perfect in balancing the day.
How does a person know where to put his or her energy in figuring out what is important to understand or at least come to some kind of acceptance? I ask this question because the morning and evening were easy and friendly with a real flow of life that is comfortable and the funeral was tainted by the incorrect story absent of the real truth of who this friend and family member was and by the emotional undercurrent that seemed to be missed by most. Maybe to be out of touch emotionally is advantageous to the desire to play it safe in the world? Maybe fear and jealousy are common bi-products of an unexamined heart? Maybe death is too scary for most to even contemplate as to why someone would choose to end their life at 51?
There are more questions and I am sure most will not be answered. What I do understand is that pain and suffering played heavily into the decision made? But was that enough to steal away the parent needed by the two children left behind? As happened a few weeks ago when my client died, two children are now left without maybe the healthier of the two parents. They will be traumatized for possibly a lifetime because of this suicide. How can you love your children and think they are better off without you?
The questions keep coming. There will be many by those who really care. Those that have been heartless won’t ask the questions because they will not want to hear the possible answers. Denial, numbness, rationalizing, and blaming will serve no positive purpose. Instead more numbness and distance from the heart is most likely.
Where do people really go when they die? Is there a punishing place for the troubled, I doubt it. Will he feel relief? Will the one who be able to watch what happens to the ones he left behind? I can’t seem to stop asking questions maybe because it reminds me that I too will not be in this body someday.
Losing touch with one’s heart is a huge loss but when it comes slowly over time it may not be noticed until times like these when people may wonder how come they don’t feel much? To ask that question would be to start reclaiming a person’s humanity, to not ask would be to remain an empty shell of what is humanly possible.
Let love shine this week for you. Your open heart is a beautiful thing.
Life Is So Good When We Feel Alive
Yesterday was an amazing day in so many ways. I couldn’t wait to sit down and write about it so I could recall the rainbow of emotional experiences. Life is so good when it is full of the richness of being fully alive especially when we get to have a glimpse of the contrast of seeing others in the trance of living many people go through. My wife and I attended a christening, a funeral and a house concert all within a 12-hour span and it was just right how it all happened.
The day began with an early morning bike ride with the chill still in the air. That woke me up and got me going. After a quick shower we were off to the First Event: the Christening of Mackenzie Madison Palles. Mackenzie is the daughter of Neal and Mary our friends. Neal is a social worker that I worked with in my past job and a handful of ex-coworkers showed up and we had a wonderful reunion in the midst of Rabbi, both families, neighbors, other friends and a meaningful ceremony about an extended family coming together in support of this new soul beginning her life’s journey. It is a blessing to be a part of Mackenzie’s journey. The interactions and the feelings of being with friends was also a blessing.
Part Two of our journey was a drive to Denver to attend my wife’s good friend Steve’s funeral. He took his own life and most of those who attended seemed in total denial of the pain of that loss. The funeral was put on by an estranged family and past associates who Steve had much unfinished business with and in some part the reason he took his soul elsewhere. His father, his brother had greatly disappointed him when he left their business to go out on his own. There heartlessness troubled Steve greatly.
His ex-wife who took him to court regularly to get every dime she could was there in smiles yet the pain she cause him was beyond measure. She thanked us for being there and this struck us as odd and unreal since Steve’s going was in no small part due to his feelings about her relentless attempts to make his life a struggle. She had just sent him notice of another day in court as his business crashed around him.
His fiancée seemed happy and in total denial or full of anger and just hiding her emotions. She was fiercely jealous of any interactions Steve had and now it seems she was not in touch with even compassion for his death?
The singer, with a wonderful voice, who sang at the funeral was someone Steve disliked for his dishonest business dealings. Steve would have been upset over this whole event, it seemed so heartless when he was a very giving person, but maybe that is why he checked-out?
My wife and some close friends will put together a real goodbye in the near future where, who he really was, can be celebrated and his loss can be sincerely felt.
Part Three meant we had to get home to make something for a potluck and head to Lyons a small town on the way to Estes Park. Lyons is where my friend Bill lives. It was house concert night of about 25 people and a few co-workers from my present job were there. The night began with good food and “open mike” where everyone performed beautifully. Bill and Steph did two songs that were just great. Something about a live performance that is so much better than a recording. It seems like the feeling vibrations lift everyone.
The evening featured event was Coyote Moon a duet that were so good I can still feel their music buzzing in me the next day. Their musical talents were exceptional and their voices were just pure joy. To sit so close and feel the notes of the music pass right into and through is to be uplifted to the highest plane of human experience. This is creativity and personal expression at an expansive level that is a true inspiration for whatever in us wants to be expressed. It is such joy to soar with those who are soaring.
We got home and soon fell into a very deep and restful sleep. Life is so good when we feel alive.
Freedom Of Speech Is Essential But Rudeness Is Not
A reader called me an “ass” yesterday for one of my recent blog posts. I felt anger rise in me but I quickly let it go because I decided to not let this person rent space in my head. What I don’t understand is that a blog is just a person’s ideas or opinion, nothing more and to call someone a name for his point of view seems so judgmental and childish. This person must be angry or in pain or why would he strike out at me for sharing my perspective? I erased his comments because I refuse to be part of such heartlessness.
The world has lots of issues but this name-calling and senseless treating of others has no place in a civilized society. Freedom of speech is essential but rudeness is not part of the constitution.
Speaking of rudeness, I happened to catch a little of Rush on the Glenn Beck show. I just heard a snippet of their interaction and frankly I was so aghast that they were just making things up and what they said had no basis in truth, which maybe isn’t their concern? They are welcome to their opinion but seriously why would anyone listen to such nonsense?
Nonsense to me is when a person’s point of view is so full of bias that he or she can see straight. I too have biases but I also don’t make things up to support my biases. I would rather know the truth, How about you?
Truth is really an individual matter. Some who are convinced they know the truth seem to insist that others agree with them. As I listen to and read the nonsense people speak and write, I wonder how they got so out of touch with their own thoughts and feelings. The mind and the heart typically don’t lie. The ego-mind is the most vulnerable to misinformation because it wants to know and be in control. This mind also wants to feed its beliefs, which can often be huge blind spots in seeing what is right or not. The heart is much more able to dissect the truth from the false.
Well it is Friday and the summer is quickly slipping away and I am tired of being in my head after a busy week interacting with intense people.
Have a good weekend. I will be back on Monday with a new post.
If you want to read the anti-Rush checkout Helen an 82 year old who tells it like it is with no holds barred and with humor. http://margaretandhelen.wordpress.com
The Legacy Of Youngest Brother, Ted Kennedy
Where were you when John Kennedy died? I was in the Seventh Grade in the school gym when I heard the announcement. That experience left me in shock and made the world seem more uncertain. Robert Kennedy's assassination came just after I graduated from High School. That left me wondering what kind of world we were living in that this kind of tragedy could happen in our country. This was 1968 when there were lots of questions about they way things were.
Now in 2009 the last of the Three Brothers life comes to an end. Ted Kennedy was an imperfect man like the rest of us. He had a passion for government and compassion for the less fortunate. His life was dedicated to making a difference for his country while serving as a father to the Kennedy children who had none.
His life as a senator was about service, about looking out for those with less influence who needed to be represented in Washington D.C. He was called the Lion of the Senate because he was a master at legislation and because he tirelessly represented the Liberal point of view. This is a great loss but we had time this time to prepare. This leaves me wondering who will take up the push for universal health care? Who will stand for the people who are not wealthy? Who will keep the important liberal flame glowing despite the anger of those who want to stamp out this point of view?
The answer has to come in the mirror of each of us including our elected officials. This was a man who lived the second half of his life on principles he believed in even when they were not popular. Unlike so many in office now who change what they say according to who they think is listening. Kennedy lived the liberal values of openness to change, of compassion for all, of respect for differences, of government as a healthy partner for all citizens, of peaceful co-existence for all on the planet, of the best education, and of service to make the world a better place.
In that mirror make a commitment to be you as fully as you can be in service of those in need. That service may be on a one-to-one basis, in your community, as a teacher or mentor, in the political process, by directing a cause your believe in or in some other inspired activity in which you will leave your positive mark on the planet.
Be courageous, be bold and be purposeful.
Tantrum Time For Those Who Don’t Get Their Way
Eleven windows were smashed by a hammer at the Denver Democratic Headquarters early Tuesday morning. The motivation is unclear but no other nearby windows in other offices where damaged.
How come there is such hate among those who call themselves Republican against the Democratic Party? No Democrats accused Bush of being Hitler, showed up with guns and his rallies, and were obviously so hostile and hateful. Many thought Bush was a disaster as a president but people didn’t attack him and his family with such hatred. Most just questioning what he was doing.
It seems that some Republican members don’t like to be out of power and they especially don’t like government when the Democrats run it. It is as if these small-minded actions are by people who really don’t have the capacity of rational thoughts? Hostile actions like this are meant to threaten people who think differently than they do. How angry and controlling is that?
This sounds too much like the workings of inadequate egos who feel they need to establish control. Almost like a tantrum from not getting their way.
The healthcare debate has stirred up many people. This is a positive thing to get people involved in the political process. It seems that most people agree that our health care system is broken. There is however a small vocal group who may not have health care coverage (doubtful) or they have no idea what they need but are stirred up by some ideology and are against anything they are told to be against.
Change is needed for the benefit of all and it has nothing to do with “Socialism,” nothing to do with “death panels,” nothing to do with big government. The Bush Administration build a much bigger government spying on all of us and no one confronted them.
The debate against the “public option,” which is essential to real change, is filled full of oppositional lies and fear tactics. There are no substantial arguments against the public option other than the endless talking points put out by the insurance industry and their supporters. Is anybody really thinking critically when they oppose a better health care system that would truly be of benefit to them?
What happened to real discussion and doing what’s best for the people? This debate to me is very simple: keep this broken system as it is and keep making these companies rich on our backs or bring about real change so we can all be fully covered for reasonable prices. The question is not whether we need a better health care system; it is how we are going to do it?
The Two Basic Questions For All Of Us
Lately there seems to be a focus on living or not living around me. A client mysteriously dies when her husband is at home. A friend of my wife kills himself leaving behind a three-ring binder of plans to help deal with his death. A co-worker says she doesn’t want to live that long because she feels too much chronic pain. What is this life we are living about anyway?
This feels sometimes like it is too big of a question for anyone to tackle. Yet I must seek clarity because I realize there is so little any of us knows for sure about the afterlife other than speculation and a variety of belief systems.
There is however some interesting findings from those who have had near death experiences. These near-death returnees have been researched, which has provided some fascinating information. Cross culturally all those who were interviewed about having an experience of dying and coming back have reported they were asked generally these two questions while in the light of being out of their bodies:
What did you learn about love?
What have you done to make the world a better place?
These two questions make me think that every life is precious and that those who commit suicide or want to die seem to have lost touch with some key aspects of life. Connection to our heart is missing when a person wants to check out from life. The other important missing piece is the lack of knowing or living our mission or purpose. If we are not taking our life forward, living with purpose then we need to take the time to realign ourselves with why we are here in this life.
Suicide is an angry act and a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It seems like checking out because a person cannot deal with the struggles they are having. There is no judgment here about those who make that choice but it does seem sad they felt unable to cope and didn’t have the support they needed?
Over the years, I have talked a number of people out of suicide and most wanted someone to care because they forgot how to or never learned to care for themselves. This blockage of the heart towards oneself is a sad situation but there are remedies for this condition. Counseling, friends, healthier beliefs, exploring your spiritual life, having a pet, mindfulness, and other techniques and ways of life can help us find more reason to keep on living.
Each of us came with a unique purpose that only we can fulfill. We come fully equipped to succeed if we listen to our own inner guidance system of feelings, intuition, gut instincts etc. There is something we are here to do that will make the world a better place and if we don’t do what we have been given to do the entire planet misses out.
Please tune into this: If your find yourself out of touch with your heart or unclear about your purpose, it is time to quit ignoring your inner guidance and live more according to the wisdom of your heart and spirit.
The Way Of the Open Heart
Work is where most of us spend a big part of our week. I am very blessed to work with a wonderful group of people who all have lot of compassion and a passion for helping people. This compassion is a powerful and beautiful thing. There are many of us caring and loving human beings on the planet who reach out to those who struggle in life and lend a helping hand. We are a blessing to those we help. Take a few moments to appreciate your open heart.
Compassion is the opposite of greed, hunger for power, and an ego driven life. These other forces too often drive what happens in the world. The ego-mind is out of touch with the heart and that is why it can rationalize war, profits as god, domination over others and the endless seeking of control. A compassionate person would never be ok with these heartless acts.
The challenge all of us face who care about others is that we have these strong forces who lack heart that want to run the world. We cannot go about trying to battle these force because that would make us just like them. So what can you do?
1. Start each day in touch with the flow of love in your heart and spread it wherever you go.
2. Be awake and aware to your heart’s guidance; live in the consciousness of being fully present in each moment.
3. Take time to quiet yourself and get to know the flow of your heart, the wisdom of your silence, and your Higher Self.
4. Learn to shrink the judging mind and the inner critic and grow the accepting mind and a kind inner dialogue.
5. Wake up your inner healing energy so you can always be at your best when you are helping those who struggle the most.
6. Remember that simple acts of kindness and giving can enrich your day and also those you reach out to in caring ways.
7. Make your way the path of spreading the joy of an open heart; do it with passion and purpose.
8. Giving from your heart and consciousness will melt away even the greatest opposition; kill (maybe a better word here would be “thrill”) them with kindness.
Have an open-hearted week and let you joy and kindness light the way.
Real Information Worth Knowing
The morning commitments are done. I have walked the dog and finished my hilly bike ride. It feels like nap time but I thought I better sit down to write or the day would pass by and later tonight I would be plucking away at these keys. I love doing this blog but sometimes I have to push myself to sit here and do it.
There is so much going on in the news and I avoid the details of most of it. I am very selective as far as what I want to focus on, what images and thoughts I want flowing through my mind. This seems important to me because my peace of mind is important. I don’t watch movies about war or with lots of violence because they leave me unsettled and full of negative images. I don’t read about the specifics of people’s behaviors, about the details of disease, or negative and blaming editorials because they are not the seeds I want to plant in my mind. This seems like self-care for my mental, emotional and physical health.
As a therapist, I listen to plenty of reality through the stories of horrendous abuse most of my clients have suffered through. Yes I know there are people and circumstance out there that are very disturbing, so when I am not working I am very careful what goes in my mind and through my heart.
There are many opinions out there about many things. I trust my own inner counsel much more then the opinionaters. With the Web, I can always find the information I need to be educated about the issues. I totally avoid Fox News because it full of misinformation and with a clear political slant. The rest of the major networks are full of the corporate slant of sensationalism. They don’t represent the right or the left just the drama they can find to show the viewers, kind of Reality TV News presenting the worst of people. I suggest a total avoidance of all these networks.
If you and I truly want to be informed about the nature and potential of humankind, it is far better to listen to the guidance of our heart and our consciousness. This inner knowing speaks from compassion, awareness and what is hopeful and possible. That is the real information worth knowing.
Enjoy your weekend.
Truth Is Not Located In Our Thoughts
The truth is that we could all be wrong about what is best for us. Even with our most clarity, this life is a guessing game filled with thoughts, emotions, beliefs and desires. Nothing is simple when there are thoughts, beliefs, self-talk, self-doubt, worries, fears etc. To be human is to feel, to think, to love, to wonder, to question, to hope, to act, to sense, to search and whatever else we find ourselves doing. There seems little or no certainty in anything.
Where can we look for clarity? Is it in the words of religious text, or the words of our leaders, ministers, or corporate executives? Probably not, because these are all human like us, filled with imperfection, faulty beliefs and ego-minds. Even the so-called sacred texts were really just authored by ordinary people at best inspired by a Divine force. The answers are not found in our thoughts because these ideas are merely a jumble of words passing through. Thoughts are just thoughts and really nothing more than that. The heart is closest truth organ in us but it too can become caught up in the passion of the moment. Where do we look instead?
There is a silence within that awaits our listening. This silence is linked to the collective wisdom/consciousness of all of life on the planet. It is also linked to the Creative Force of the universe. Whatever that Force may be is speculated by all religions and by most who realize there must be a greater force than "I". It seems doubtful to a questioning person like myself that religious organization have any corner on the truth. More often they represent ideas that must be questioned and rely on texts that lack any real validity other than a call to have faith. Faith in the silence of oneself makes sense but faith in a mega-organization driven by self-sustainability makes no sense.
The guiding forces of the silence seem to be called different names but they all come to the listener in the moments we are available to listen. These names of intuition, higher self, Self, spirit, gut instinct, Higher Power, Holy Spirit, heart-center, inner guidance or whatever they are called represent a greater knowing beyond our egos, our personalities, our thoughts. Thank goodness this knowing guidance is there waiting to show us the way.
Are you ready to listen?