Today I want to share some thoughts about things that seem worth commenting about and a few more ideas about ways to not be run by a negative mind.
First, I have to say something about Sarah Palin resigning as governor of Alaska. You have to wonder how she convinced a whole state to elect her as its CEO. You have to also wonder what John McCain was thinking when he chose her as his running mate. Finally you have to wonder who would vote for her to be one heartbeat from the Presidency of the United States. Frankly Former Governor Palin seems to be a confused person, who lacks awareness, and is run by her ego mind. If she ever had ended up president, she would have made a mockery out of politics and the American people who voted her in, and made President Bush Jr. look like a genius in comparison. Hopefully this is the end of her political future for the good of this nation.
The Tour De France came to an end Sunday and Lance Armstrong ended up third. This result is absolute astonishing for a 37-year-old retired bicycle to come back and do so well. This is an endurance event like not other in sports. His focus, his willingness to suffer, his determination to survive and thrive against incredible odd are an inspiration to all us middle aged athlete plugging away still in hopes of moments of simple glory. In what part of your life are you most like Lance?
Lately the term Blue Dog Democrats is in the news because of their obstruction in bringing about real change in health care. What is a Blue Dog Democrat, isn’t that basically a Republican who ran for office as a Democrat because he/she felt they had a better chance of winning? Frankly in Washington DC there seems to be one Party and that party operates in support of the rich and the status quo. This party should be called the Money Influenced Party. Who is looking out for what is best for the people in this debate?
How come so many famous entertainers end up with drug issues? Is there a problem with the way drugs are used in the U.S.? If you have more money can you buy your way around drug regulations? How come kids are put on behavior medications at such an early age and then people seem surprised that they develop problems with drugs later? Many of the people who end up in treatment began as drug users compliments of the families and doctors. We medicate more people per capita in the U.S. then any other developed nation.
Recently when I had blood work, the nurse I talk to about my results was surprise my low cholesterol and blood pressure was not the product of medication. There seems to be something off about wanting to fix everything with a pill instead of taking good care of others and ourselves? Are you on regular medications and are they necessary?
What’s on your mind today? What impresses, concerns, baffles, or excites you about the world and us inhabitants?
A thought about the workings of the negative mind: there are things to be concerned about and to take action in the form of making changes. Whether it is health care, environment, our money buying the banks toxic assets, Blue Dog politics or whatever gets your passion flowing, the important thing to do is not to spend too much mind time on what isn’t ok. In other words, if you see a need for change, then move into what kinds of action you can support and do? The action step is necessary so that you spend little time in the negative and most of your time in the positive of doing something to bring about a better world.
Talk Radio is awful for obsessing about what is wrong and all it does is make people feel lousy. We all have the right to have opinions about all that is going on but please avoid spending much time in the problem and put your energy instead towards positive solutions.
Indulging In The Negative
Yesterday after I left the Gym, I was heading home on my bike and ran into a recent client at our treatment program. She is still clean and sober and things are looking up for her. She has a job and her parents are going to buy an investment property in Boulder and rent it to her. She was smiling when she shared this but then she said, “I don’t want to sabotage this.” She shared she is afraid her old pattern will resurface. That pattern she shared was when things are going well, she does something to sabotage it.
Here I am straddling my bike on the side of the road trying to intervene in her thinking. She is affirming her sabotage skills and I am encouraging her to think about things continuing to work out well for her. Her thinking, her habitual sense of the world is colored hopefully not tainted by her mind. If she fully believes she will negate the positive outcomes, she will. She cannot afford to be run by a negative and limiting mind because it will sabotage her life. This is indulging in the negative.
The alternative is clear to me as an observer and therapist. She must focus on what is going well and appreciate the positive outcomes. That is the reality of her life now. The sabotage is not real unless she gives in energy by her thoughts. What we focus on grows larger or more charged.
I know of others who spend their days feeling overwhelmed, upset, worried, and stuck. These thoughts are just thoughts and of course if they focus on the negative their results will be negative. That too is indulging in the negative. Thoughts are just thoughts and they only have the meaning we give them. So yes we can change our thoughts and change the outcomes of our lives.
The path to inner peace and to creating the world we desire must be positive, hopeful and with an open heart. Any other mindset will be limiting and if we allow the mind to journey more than a step or two in the negative then we are indulging in what will never create the results we want.
Life is entirely too short to indulge in worry, in fear, in blame, in complaining, in poor me, in anger, in hate or in any other negative emotions. If we choose to instead hang out in the positive, in hope, in love, in compassion, in openness, in joy, in consciousness, in appreciation and other optimistic states then life will be a wonderful journey. Which will it be?
I will share more on ways to keep the mind working in our favor this week.
An Ode To Laughter
Today I sat down to read my latest copy of Ode Magazine and got distracted remembering I had not yet written my blog for the weekend. I skimmed the issue and got excited about reading it because the entire issue is about laughter. I can’t think of a more fun topic.
Laughter to me is a great spiritual practice because it is about being fully present, about enjoying the moment. Laughter seems an essential of life, without it life is boring and much too serious. With laughter comes a smile, wonderful body vibrations, lots of immune system activation, and the best feelings of optimism, joy and love. Laughter opens the heart to love, opens the body to health, opens the mind to a sense of humor, and frees the spirit to feel perfectly aligned with the inner divine and the Great Source.
Have you ever been to a Laughter Yoga class? Google laughter yoga and see where there is a class in your town/city. If you can’t find one, go take a class on laughter yoga and sharing it with your community.
Develop your sense of humor. Imagine what your life would be like if it was your purpose to make people laugh. What a great job that would be, don’t your think?
Almost all humor is appreciated except for sarcasm, which is a sense of humor with an edge and a bit of anger. Making fun of others is another form of humor that misses the higher mark of lifting people up.
My experience of those that I would call enlightened is that they have a wonderful sense of humor. Therefore I would say making people laugh is a very high way to be in the world.
Pick up the August copy of Ode Magazine and join me in reading these articles and we can have a good laugh together.
Checkout this site about having fun which I found thru StumbleUpon.com: Fun
Breathing Into The Now
Has the time come to leave the past behind and to fully live today? What keeps you anchored in the past or dreaming of the future? Will tomorrow be better than today? Does it seem the past represented better times in your life? Any thoughts about the past being better or the future more hopeful, are just stories in your mind.
Today, right now is the best it gets. Sure the past may have fond memories and the future may seem rosier than now. However the reality is that today you memories of the past take place in the now so in fact your pleasant memories are products of the moment you think of them. The same is true of the future because by the time you get to where you want to be, you will be in the present moment. The present moment is the only place you can be to enjoy life.
So how do you show up in the now of your life? The answer to that is simple, but the “how to” is much more complicated. The simple part is that each day you stay fully present to what is going on around you, in your mind, in your body and in your heart. The complicated part is to be able to be awake, aware and conscious enough to be fully tuned in.
The distractions are numerous. There are your thoughts, your resentments, your unfinished business with others, your addictions, your need to be right, your approval seeking, your worries and fears, your feelings of lack, your self-doubt, your unhealthy relationships, your anger, your limiting beliefs, your ego needs and so much more that pulls you away from the peace of mind of the moment.
To offset all these limiting human conditions you must have clear intentions and practices that will keep you on track with the now. There is where mindfulness can be a great aid to a better life. There is research that supports the benefits of meditation and other mindfulness practices. Your mindfulness research is best accomplished in the confines of your own life.
Take the following mindfulness practice and give it your best shot. This practice is the simplest and easiest to do and can profoundly alter your life for the better. The practice is called Breathing Mindfully and it goes like this:
Sit, lie down, or go for a walk and bring your attention to the inhale and exhale of your breath. The breath is always happening so it is a great anchor for mindfulness practice. As you put attention on the cycle of your breath, you are fully present.
Also note the gaps between the inhale and exhale and inhale and exhale. As you focus on the breath you naturally relax and slow down. This slowing down is necessary so that your mind can arrive in the now and settle down. As the breath is breathed and the mind is brought to mindfulness than life become very real.
When the mind becomes restless the breath can be the anchor that keeps our thoughts from drifting out to sea. As thoughts wander they can be corralled by the watching of the inhale and exhale. This single focus can profoundly change your experience of life. You must be in the now to breath mindfully.
Each breath is a gift and that is why it is called the present.
Flowing With Change
Goodbyes can be hard to do. In this detox and recovery job things change and people move on. When you work everyday with people in an intense environment you get to appreciate them or get tired of being around them. At this point I tend to be much more focused on their attributes than seeing them in a negative light. Life presents us with many opportunities to deal with change both positive and sometime with loss and a sense of sadness.
How do you deal with changes, with saying goodbye, with moving on because it is necessary for you at this time in your life? Do you prefer to have a party and share memories or walk away quietly and avoid any emotional moments? Do you hide from change, fight it, or embrace it? When it is time to move on do you sneak out the back door or honor the time you shared with others?
How we deal with these emotional times is unique to each of us. Today in saying goodbye there were a number of funny stories shared about the person moving on and lots of laughter. Laughter is a great way to relieve the tension of emotions that might otherwise seem too intense for those that feel the loss. Loss is an interesting emotion because sometimes we feel much more loss than anticipated. These moments of pure feelings are genuine and truly what makes being human special.
When change comes about do you adapt easily or resist? The reasons are many to be a flexible adaptor. Change is a given and if you can flow easily with change then you will be ahead of the curve of those around you. Adaptability means you can learn from change and translate it into a positive circumstance. Flowing like a river around big boulders/obstacles allows you to arrive and the destiny in one piece and energized for further action.
If instead resistance is your course of change, your probably are experiencing fear. The unknown can loom large in your mind like an imaginary monster in the closet. Another more comfortable pathway down the road of change is to focus on the beneficial results. If you can find a way to open to the new possibilities, you will find things going much better and surprisingly easier.
I hope your changes are fun and easy like they goodbye we had today for a pleasant young co-worker who is going back to college to finish up her degree. Laughter filled room as we shared our best for her. There is laughter waiting inside you in even the most difficult times ahead. Don’t be afraid to let it out.
Healthcare note: President Obama has been visited at the White House by 37 Executive of the Insurance Industry lobbying to keep things basically as they are with them in charge of our healthcare. That is another reason to write and call your elected officials and the White House in support of a public option to healthcare reform.
The following is an article about a research group who claims to a impartial investigator of healthcare and the insurance industry. The only problem is this consulting group is actually own by UnitedHealth Group an insurance company. Those referencing this group are misleading Americans. Read more here:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/07/22/AR2009072202216.html?hpid=topnews
Zen, Water, Action, Life
Water has been on my brain or should I say in my brain lately. I just completed a book called the Saltwater Buddha: A Surfer’s Quest To Find Zen On The Sea by Jaimal Yogis. This story is about a young man’s quest to learn to surf and also to explore meditation. The journey to the sea and the journey to the depths of the human experience cross paths here. If you like the ocean, surfing, meditation, and/or zen, you will find this book worth the quick read that it is.
"The Supreme good is like water, which nourishes all things without trying to". Lao-Tzu
"Whether you believe in God or not does not matter so much, whether you believe in Buddha or not does not matter so much. You must lead a good life." The Dalai Lama
These are two quotes from this book and they contain some of the lessons explored. The Great Chinese Sage Lao Tzu speaks of the effortless might of water, streams, rives, and oceans to touch us all in nurturing ways. Water as the blog below points out is essential to life and also part of what might be called the cosmic soup from which we all come. The power of the ocean and its surf can take us for a ride, or teach us lessons of life. I use to love to ride the waves as if I was being carried by magic to another world were effort produced only joy.
Some people have never seen the ocean nor watched the surf dance along the shores. It seems they have missed too much.
The Dalai Lama’s wisdom about our beliefs not being nearly as important as our actions is profound in its simplicity. How true his ideas seem to be. There are so many that state their allegiance to points of view and beliefs systems like religion and yet live in ways that seem in conflict from these values they proclaim. The true mark of a human being is the way they live their lives not what they claim to believe. Compassionate action with kindness and caring seem like right action in most situations. What actions feel right to you?
I hope you found the mix of thought and ideas inspiring. The Way, the Water, the Actions we take are all part of the dance we call life. What is your way, how do you flow, and what will you leave when you pass on? Enjoy what you have and act with love and joy and all will be a beautiful journey.
Feed Your Brain And Body With Water
Wow the afternoon and evening lightening and rainstorms have been scary and dramatic lately. Last night driving back from the gym lightening was going off at least every second from a storm that had just blown through minutes earlier soaking everything. While I am on the topic of water and summer I want to share with you how very important it is to take care of your health by drinking more water. Drinking water is to often forgotten in our busy day but is a key component to good health. Several years ago, I had a very uncomfortable pain in my lower back and I found out what it feels like to pass a kidney stone. More water in my system might have prevented that. I am writing this in hopes of inspire you and as a reminder to myself.
Did you know that: the human brain is made up of 95% water, blood 82% water, and lungs 90%. Just 2% drop in your body’s water supply can cause dehydration, fuzzy memory and mental function, difficulty in reading small print, skin disorders, kidney issues, and is a major cause of daytime fatigue. 75% of Americans have mild chronic dehydration.
To know how much you need to drink here is a simple formula:
Body weight x .5, if you weigh 150lbs times .5 that equals 75. So you need to drink 75 ounces to meet your daily fluid needs. Somewhere between 8-12 glasses and 64 to 96 ounces per day of water is encouraged. That seems like a lot of water and that is because your body needs much more than most of us realize.
At Boulder County we are taking the next 30 days to monitor our water intake as a way to bring awareness to this important health factor. Set as a goal to make sure you get enough water and other healthy fluids to reach your body weight calculation.
Some healthy tips:
· Drink a glass or two of water or juice first thing in the morning
· Set your Outlook calendar for daily water drinking reminders (I set my daily reminder at 2pm and then have it remind me every hour the rest of the day since I know that is when I tend to forget)
· Carry a water bottle with you wherever you go
· Drink a glass with each meal and one glass between meals
· Drink before, after and during exercise.
· Start the day with the amount of water you need in a container(s) and keep on drinking until you are done
· Lemon or lime added can encourage more drinking
· Diluted fruit juice can add more flavor and increase intake
For a healthy rest of the summer, drink lots of water and enjoy the benefits.
Note: Don’t forget to contact your Congressman and Senator and share your support for real change in healthcare in this country. A single payer/public option is essential to any worthwhile proposal. Let’s take the profit motive out of the health care insurance business. Please ignore the typical fear tactics of the Right (not right) about not getting the health care you want.
Thriving Under Pressure
It is Sunday evening and I had intended on writing a blog today but it never happened. I felt a little guilty but decided to be ok with it and thought maybe for the rest of the summer I would take at least one day off on the weekends. Sunday was a big day if you watch golf or the Tour De France. In both events the older guy (Watson and Lance) looked ready to take charge but seemed vulnerable in the end.
The British Open was exciting. Us older guys were cheering on Tom Watson but he choked on a putt on the last hole that would have won the tournament. If you watched, you saw him actually tighten up and totally miss a putt that he could have easily made. To tighten-up like that is because he felt the pressure and couldn’t override it. When playing golf, I miss easy putts too if I am trying too hard and that is with just the pressure of my own thoughts and not with thousands of people watching there in Scotland at the course and millions on TV.
Lance Armstrong all but said this race is over as far as his chances to win are concerned. His teammate Alberto Contador seems to be stronger than everyone else in the mountains.
What makes you choke, tighten-up, feel pressure or mess with yourself with your thinking? How do you offset the tension or keep loose? Here are some suggestions you might find helpful the next time you are feel under pressure for a presentation, following through on something difficult, or when you have a bet riding on your round of golf. You can try the following:
• Step back, take a relaxed breath, and when ready step up to hit the ball or follow through on your task.
• Visualize the results you want to have, see it, taste it, smell it, hear it and feel it. The clearer you can imagine it the greater the chance for a positive outcome.
• Presentations are the most tense the first line or two. Memorize what you want to say in the beginning and throw in some humor to lighten you and the audience up.
• Shoulder rolls are very helpful when you feel yourself getting uptight; even a little stretching just before can loosen you up and toss in some mindful breathing.
• Before you go forward into action make sure you are clear about where you are heading. A well thought out plan will make you feel more confident.
• Fresh air and just to be outdoors can settle you down. A walk around the block or away from what you are doing, can do wonders.
• Don’t show up early and have to wait around for while, this just makes you pace and get anxious. Keep busy if you find time on your hands. Distraction can be helpful.
• Lighten up, don’t take things too seriously, and make it fun and enjoyable.
• Find out what works for you. My advice may not be helpful. Experiment to see what works best when you are under pressure.
I hope you week gets off to a positive start and that you have an opportunity to thrive under pressure.
What Do You Think?
Today, I just want to make some comments on what is going on in the news. Let me know what your perspective is about the following:
Does any smell something awfully fishy about these investment firms that claimed to be in financial problems and now a short time later after our government bails them out they are claiming huge profits and giving huge bonuses? Our government/we gave to these very wealthy corporations millions of dollars, I guess to make sure they could make billions of dollars and make their rich executives richer. Does this make you upset or what?
There is a car dealer in Missouri called Max Motors that is giving AK-47’s to each customer who buys a new American car from them. Ak-47’s are for one thing, to kill a number of people at once. Is this car dealer encouraging the murder of other human beings? Yes would be my answer. I am not a gun advocate and think people who need guns to feel safe are run by fear and the ego-mind.
Walter Cronkite died and I have fond memories of when the news was the news that could be trusted. Mr. Cronkite was a reporter you believed because of his genuine sincerity. There was not made up drama, just the news as he saw it. He seemed to stand for truth in reporting. He lived by higher values that no longer seem to be part of corporate news. I hope he rests in peace.
Tiger Woods didn’t make the cut at the British Open. The people who wrote about this Open before it started all seem to believe Tiger had the best shot to win. He had a terrible last round and if you play golf you know it can happen to anyone. When things go bad in golf, they often just get worse. Golf is a great game but it has a powerful way of crushing an ego when things go wrong. Tiger will come back and lessons in shrinking the ego and non-attachment are always positive for every human being.
How come MSNBC pays Pat Buchanan to give his opinion on their news network? He is very clearly racist and has the same kind of arrogance as Limbaugh, Falwell, Dobson, Savage, O’Reilly, Hannerty, Coulter and the rest of the crew that seem to hate everyone who sees the world differently then they do. It amazes me that anyone actually pays attention to any of these people because they all seem so full of fear and have such limited and negative views of humankind.
Have a good day and keep you mind and heart open because they work so much better that way.
Take Back Control Of Your Mind
One of the most profound teachers on the planet today is Eckhart Tolle. His book, The Power Of Now, should be required reading by every human being who cares at all about their peace of mind and wants to help make the world a better place. In this book he states that most of us live with a tormentor in our head that continually beats us up. That tormentor is our thoughts. We live in almost constant chaos because of our thoughts.
His teachings in this book contain valuable information about how we can free ourselves from our thoughts. We can be freed from the tyranny of the mind by watching our inner dialogue/self-talk. This observing is very liberating if we can do it impartially (without judging ourselves). There is a part of who we are that is beyond the ego and personality; this part is the objective observer. This watcher can set us free if we learn to go beyond the mind.
Tolle says that when the watcher of thoughts is activated, a new dimension of consciousness resides in us. This new dimension can assist us ending compulsive thinking and the myriad of problems associated with an out of control mind.
A break from the dominance of chaotic thoughts is possible if we practice watching our inner dialogue. It we watch the mind will begin to develop gaps in the endless parade of thoughts and we can have moments of freedom. With time and watchful practice those gaps grow into genuine silence, peacefulness and the joy of being.
This freedom to be is enhanced when we take any activity and become fully present to it. That presence brings the mind completely into the now and we can then enter the consciousness of the watcher. This impartial self is able to compassionately watch our inner workings, be aware, and make the choices that will lead to the stillness where our peaceful well-being resides.
I am writing this last part with my right hand only as I pet him because my little buddy Pax our dog is feeling very upset because he has to be conehead these days to keep him from licking his injured paw. I feel for his confusion as he bumps into things and feels out of sorts. Like us humans, he has found life can be pretty confusing at time. Have a good weekend.
The Sotomayor Hearings and The Self-Righteous
There are the hearings going on for Judge Sotomayor in Washington, DC. Why do the people with their religious beliefs have a right to try and influence the Supreme Court? Their beliefs are just their beliefs no more right than those who believe differently. Why do our elected official act as if they represent religious beliefs? Were they elected as spokespersons of these religions or were they elected to represent all citizens of their constituency? How come someone who is an elected official is trying to enforce his or her beliefs on the citizenry of the United States? Isn’t there something called the separation of the church and state that is a guiding principle of our democracy? Why is that ignored by the religious righteous? These are just a few of my questions about the hearings.
The Supreme Court is dominated by a conservative religious point of view now and that seems wrong because shouldn’t it be impartial and free of politics? Maybe that sounds idealistic, is it, or is that the way it should be? How can justice exist if judges are deciding based on beliefs that we don’t all agree on? These beliefs (biases) are just thoughts in their heads and yet they will make major decisions that will affect everyone in this country. That doesn’t sound like justice for all but only justice for those that believe the same as they do.
On a lighter note, I appreciate Senator Al Franken already putting a little humor in the midst of the self-importance of those who try to force their beliefs on the whole country. He asked Judge Sotomayor if she could name the one case that the famous TV lawyer Perry Mason lost. She could not and he said didn’t the Obama administration coach her on such answers?
The exaggerated righteous of the holy-than-thou attitude of too many in Congress is almost too much to stomach especially in the light of the ongoing embarrassment of those that claim one set of values and than get caught living in direct contradiction. Does it seem that those who spout most vigorously of their beliefs tend to end up in conflict with them?
We all live in some conflict but then we all don’t go out and proclaim our beliefs and expect everyone to believe and act according to our values. Most of us live as best as we can with a constantly evolving sense of values that happens naturally in maturing human beings. Values/beliefs are not static; they change and evolve with insight and life experience. If our beliefs don’t reflect our expanding awareness than they most likely are products of closed minds.
Lighten Up Your Life Today
It was a busy day yesterday with my all day class and rushing off to play my golf league in the evening. It was a hot night and I don’t mean my golf game, which was much less than inspirational. Playing golf for fun is a wonderful way to spend a weekday evening.
Speaking of fun and enjoying life, I was thinking about ways to lighten up, to not take life too seriously. As I have been saying since Summer began, this is the time of year to be focused on play and being playful. The following are 10 ways to lighten up your life because it is just healthier and a happier way to live:
1. Take yourself out on a date and go do what you love to do or have always wanted to do. If you have a fun friend you can bring he or her along. The goals is to do what feels good and fully enjoy it.
2. Hang out and just explore your favorite bookstore, craft shop, library, mall, museum or other fun places. You are no longer a child so there is no one stopping you from doing what you love to do.
3. Move away from or ignore people who are negative and cause a lot of drama. Life it too short to spend it struggling with the behavior of difficult people. Even those you love will mellow if you help guide them with your enthusiasm towards enjoying life.
4. Hop on your bike and go for a fun ride at an easy pace through an area you have wanted to explore. No exercise is allowed, just cruising and touring for the pleasure of it. You can do the same thing in a car going for a drive.
5. Take out your favorite art supplies and start a project you have had on your mind for a while. Creative expression is a great way to set you free.
6. Pay attention to your thoughts and inner dialogue to make sure you understand they are just thoughts and are not real. Thoughts are just words in your head you give meaning to and nothing more than that. Have your mind set on being joyous and compassionate.
7. Try to move away from taking your work too seriously. Work is something you do for income so stop worry about it. Some work is very purposeful but that doesn’t mean you should get serious about it.
8. Each day set as a goal to laugh more and to develop a healthy sense of humor. Making people laugh through funny stories and with great wit is so rewarding and loosens people up to better appreciate the day.
9. Turn up the music and sing along. The voice can be uplifting if it is used for song and to inspire others. Singing, chanting, reading stories out loud, presenting a passionate topic can be very uplifting both internally and if others are involved.
10. Say yes to fun things and stop trying to be good all the time. Too often you don’t even know why you cut off your aliveness and tone yourself down. Seek to feel blissful and alive instead of living up to some expectations.
Looks like I have been in a list-making mode lately. I do so enjoy letting my mind/heart/higher self guide me in my writing. I hope you find these ideas useful and stimulating.
From Young And Fearless To Older And More Selective
All day yesterday I was at training about Motivational Interviewing, which is an evidence-based intervention for people who have addiction, mental health issues, and a number of other applications. The 2-day training will continue today. The trainer is great and keeps things interesting and moving along at a nice clip but still it is hard to sit for a full day of information. I have great compassion for the many who sit all day in their jobs while they busily do their work. I have to get up and move around. My body just feels better being mobile every hour or so.
This training is about some really excellent concepts and I will next train some of our staff on these ideas. The techniques are simple and familiar enough and have many positive applications. These are cornerstones ideas for any counselor, social worker and helping professional.
There was time also to notice things going on inside as my thoughts and emotions were in a busy flow of activity. What I did observe is that except for two others I was much older than most of the rest of the attendees. The significance of that got me feeling more of what has been stirring in me lately. I have been feeling like I am not going to live forever. That my work career is no longer as important to me as it was. That working 40 hours a week is not what I want to do anymore. That I think I want to do more training, supervision/consultation and less direct services. This is a bit of an unsettled time for me.
As I approach 60, my body feels more vulnerable. I am restless to enter a more contemplative time of my life. Sometimes I play it safer than I use to and am less willing to take risks. That playing safer and taking fewer risks feels both disappointing and more comfortable. I feel like I am transitioning from young and fearless to older and more selective of where to put my energy.
It is my hope that you are still so young that none of my concerns have crossed your mind. However incase you are aging like I am, please take the time to pay attention to what is going on in your mind, emotions, body and your higher self. Be respectful of the changes going on. Be kind and understanding of your own process.
As I write this some of my awareness is so new that I have yet even spoken about it. Life is really an interesting journey. Travel well.
Putting Hopelessness and Despair Behind You
It can be very hard to get unstuck sometimes. We get so use to the way we do our lives that we can’t imagine doing it any differently. Habits are powerful forces to keep things as they are even if they are not working well for us.
In my work I interact with people are stuck and I always feel for their dilemma. They feel like they have tried out different new approaches but nothing seems to get things going. Sometime a major shakeup is needed. Other times following through on something is needed but hard to do. The follow are a number of ideas that will help people move from hopelessness to hope:
• Have a plan and take daily steps to accomplish that plan. One step a day over 3 months equals 90 steps toward success.
• Live with purpose. If you are yet unclear about what your life is about, take some time to figure it out. Talk to others who know you, they often see things about you that will be helpful in knowing your interests and strengths.
• Move energy in your body. Exercise is a powerful way to move energy and make yourself feel better. Think of depression as depressed energy and exercise as the way to feel stir the energy in you and to feel more alive.
• Eat healthy and not too much. A healthy diet can make you feel so much better because you body runs better on high-grade fuel. Eating lightly feels healthier than too much. Less sugar and more water are very helpful.
• Listen to your heart and your emotions. Your feelings are always giving you constant feedback. Do what your heart tells you to do. Do what feels right.
• Keep your mind open and positive. An open mind can learn and self-correct. A positive mind simply works better than a negative one. You cannot allow yourself to linger in negativity if you want a happy life. You are always one positive thought away from feeling better.
• Make it a goal to have some fun everyday. This fun is something you enjoy even if it you think you shouldn’t. Life can become way too serious, instead do something fun and lighten up.
• Focus on what you are grateful for at least once a day. If you look around and really pay attention there is much to appreciate and be thankful for throughout the day. Keep a gratitude journal.
• Spend time in nature. Nature has a wonderful ability to make you feel better. It can heal even the worst of moods. Sit against a tree, along a stream, in a meadow, on the beach or wherever nature calls you.
• Have only loving, positive and supportive friends. Life is way too short to listen to the complaining of others. Sometimes you have to really stir things up and change partner for your own good.
• Become your #1 cheerleader. Make sure your inner dialogue is encouraging and supportive. Eliminate your inner critic and replace it with a positive and loving inner voice that says you deserve the best.
You are so much more than you have yet to realize. Stop settling for less and instead go for more. You deserve that and only you can convince yourself that is true.
The Sacred Treasure Within
It is Sunday I want to keep this brief. I just got back from a long run and I am ready for a nap. This past month I have come upon some really interesting books and I have 4 of them going at once. They all have some spiritual theme going on: one is about Zen and surfing; another about the Divine Mother; another about music as a spiritual path; and there is one about an American who goes to India and finds himself learning the deep wisdom and powers of the ancient Hindu/Yoga traditions. Reading sometimes is such a wonderful way to explore new ideas and find great inspiration.
The following quote is from the book about the American who ends up in a very esoteric tradition in India:
“Perhaps the great cause was the path of the hero itself? He who remember who he is, no longer bound by ideas of past or future, the witness who finds the sacred treasure within himself (herself), brings it back to his/her tribe and in so doing so saves the world again and again?”
This quote spread good bumps across my arms, rang loudly in my heart and vibrated with the spirit within me. I will write more about this and these books I am reading in the weeks to come.
Please be joyous, loving and peaceful this day.
Please President Obama Don’t Fold to the Insurance Industry
This blog is to our president who I think is doing a great job within the amazing gridlock of Washington where those with money don’t want to change a thing. It is great when the rich get richer on the back of the people as far as they are concerned. This new president has to fight against all the money influence to make any real change and he is doing what he can against great odds
Please President Obama don’t give into the false promises of the insurance industry that is trying to keep things just as they are. As is often the case I watched Bill Moyer’s Show on PBS last night. It was about healthcare and the need for a public option. Please take the time to watch this show if you have any interest in healthcare. Wendall Potter a former VP for Cigna was on and the show was again very clear about the problems with our present for profit system.
Did you know the insurance industry is spending $1.4 million dollars per day to influence the outcome of the discussion about healthcare and a public option? Do you think they are doing that because they want more profits or because they care about providing the best service to all their clients? This campaign is fear based and about misinformation and frankly blatant dishonesty.
Did you know that Max Baucus the Democratic Senator in charge of the committee to steer us through the healthcare debate is an insurance insider? His past two chiefs of staff work for the insurance industry. That means they have direct access to influencing him. He get lots of insurance lobbying funds for his campaigns. He is bought out and should excuse himself from running this committee. He lacks impartiality and is instead a pond for corporate interests.
Did you know that the real guiding force for our health insurance industry is Wall Street? You know how well they run things and how well they look out for the needs of the people. What matters only are profits not quality of care for everyone.
If you aren’t stirred up enough yet please watch Sicko by Michael Moore available at your local video store or Netflix or Blockbuster. The insurance industry did as much as they could to blackball this film and they did it because it spoke the truth. This film will further stir you passion for reform.
Again you comments to your elected officials are the only hope we have against corporate domination. Please do not miss the end of the Bill Moyer Show because his impassioned speech is about what is good for you and I.
By the way did you see that AIG wants to give more bonuses to it’s management team that we had to bail out? Is this insane of what?
8 Ways of The Mind And Heart To Be Successful
Yesterday I wrote about the challenge of making changes in our lives. Breaking old habits and addictions take focus and effort. This focus and effort can’t be just mere determination. That rarely works because that is just the ego-mind trying to prove itself. That’s not to say determination is not ok, as a matter of fact sometimes determination pushes us forward over difficult bumps in the road.
Let me instead suggest that here are eight more effective mental and emotional states for creating the life you desire:
1. Intention is a powerful force. If your intention is clear, then the universe will line up in support to make it happen.
2. Effortless effort is the way to go. Instead of working so hard to try and make something happen, try working as if you are flowing downstream with the current of positive outcomes.
3. Be kind to yourself along the way. Beating yourself up never works. Instead be supportive and encouraging towards what you are doing, learning and accomplishing.
4. Have an open heart to all the possibilities and people who may come your way to help you. You don’t have to do it alone. The more supportive energy, innovative ideas and purposeful actions, the more your chances for success.
5. Make sure it feels right. If you go with your emotional feedback system, your experience will turn out be positive and fun. If you ignore your emotions, you will wonder what went wrong.
6. Go for being your best. It is easy to settle for ok but not near as enjoyable. Be willing to take the risks necessary to push you towards the highest expression of your potential.
7. Keep your mind on positive cruise control. It never works to go negative and critical. It always works to be optimistic and hopeful which can transform even the most difficult situations into something you will be grateful for.
8. Set your sights on having fun and experiencing freedom. The more fun you have the more fun you will manifest. Real fun is creating the freedom necessary to live just the life you want.
Have a good TGIF and remember to let your Congressional representatives know you want healthcare that is totally reasonable like the rest of the developed countries have. A public option is essential to offset the profit driven private insurance industry. Just a quick email, fax or phone call can make a real difference.
Taming Old Habits
Yesterday was an intense day as are most days when I work with addicts struggling to take their lives back from the wicked and enticing energy of drugs and alcohol. The people I work with often have left their lives in ruin because of the power of these addictive substances. No only have they created a mess of their lives but they have also destroyed any sense of self-worth.
One of the graduates of our program from about 4 months ago ended in our detox program and he seemed really disappointed with himself. Relapse is a regular part of the journey of recovery. Each time they fail and get back on track they seem to gain valuable learning and strength to go back at it. This acquired learning through messing up seems to be the path many of us choose to take towards the life we want. Maybe it doesn’t have to be that hard?
Anyone who diets knows the challenges of doing well and then falling off the wagon. Quitting smoking is like that also. Any breaking of old habits takes some real effort no matter how much we think we are focused.
I grew up in a family of six and I was the oldest. Eating around our house was a matter of survival of the fittest. If you wanted seconds, you had to eat fast or there would be nothing left. My mother was no Betty Crocker but as kids we had big appetites and so we always wanted more. I developed a habit of eating fast and still to this day I eat too fast. It has been my intention for years to slow down but I find myself remembering after I am done that I wanted to eat more slowly.
Eating can be a wonderful meditation or mindfulness practice and it would actually enhance my enjoyment of food. This fast eating too often leaves my stomach in chaos. Recently my iron stomach doesn’t seem to like the daily avalanche and it is letting me know clearly to slow down. Slowing down is something I do well in most areas of my life except eating and writing in my journal which I often speed through like I am in a hurry.
This month I have made a commitment to myself to slow down my eating and put the emphasis on enjoying the tastes and being mindful. I will let you know how this goes because I am going to try and break an old habit. I am sure my stomach will be appreciative. Old habits can be powerful forces but I am confident my heart, body and mind can meet this goal. It is my intention to make this change in kind and caring ways and to do so with effortless effort. More on this effortless effort and self kindness in a future blog.
Ego Strength and Shrinking the Ego
Since I wrote yesterday’s blog I have been thinking about ways to shrink the impact of the human ego on our lives. Let’s see if I can share some ideas you will find of value.
First before shrinking the influence of the ego, a person has to have ego strength. Ego strength in this case means having a sense of self that is positive enough to feel at least ok about who you are. Many of the addiction clients I work with have no positive sense of self, which means our work starts with building enough ego strength to start to feel ok about self. This work is basically rebuilding much of their past conditioning and helping them to say goodbye to the guilt and shame caused by their behavior. This work can take a very long time but is essential if a person is to have any hope of moving to a place of well-being.
The time to working on shrinking the influence of the ego is when a person is too inflated or exaggerated about who they think they are. This over inflation is really often an over compensation for poor ego strength. Those who have much self-doubt often act as if they were confident in a way that lacks genuineness. This bravado like behavior can seem boastful and arrogant. When a person has ego strength the need to show off or act as if all together disappears. I realize as I write this that I am still not getting to the why’s and how’s of how to shrink the ego.
Shrinking the ego is necessary to open to a greater or higher knowing within. In order for a person to find humbleness, patience, compassion, receptivity, kindness and other expansive states the ego has to be small enough to let these higher influences in. I hope this is making sense?
The ego takes a less and less of a predominate role when the heart and spirit of the person are the guiding forces. If we are able to step beyond the confusion of seeking control, worry, fear and discomfort, there lies the world beyond the ego.
The ego thrives on past and future obsessions. Being present throws the ego off and shrinks its power.
The ego wants us to be in chaos so the ego can be in charge. When we are peaceful and calm, the ego can become agitated before it really is quiet.
The ego shrinks with self-awareness. The more aware and conscious we become, the more the ego is no longer at the helm.
The ego looses power when we move away from the polarities of good and bad and the endless judging of others and situations. The more impartiality we develop, the less the ego is able to run our lives.
The ego dislikes, order, clear intention, purposeful focus and all things that are about running our lives in a positive direction. The more we are clear about what we want and how we plan to make it happen, the more the ego is forced to into the corner of powerlessness.
The ego stands no chance against the wisdom of the heart. Love and compassion always win out over the need to look good or seek the approval of others both big on the ego agenda.
I hope these are helpful ideas and bring some clarity. Please feel free to ask questions in the comment section below if you want to know more.
Senator Franken, Lance Armstong, Winning, Dangers of Ego
First it is time to say congratulations to Senator Al Franken who will be sworn in today as a United Stated Senator from Minnesota. He has traveled in his life from being a Harvard grad to Saturday Night Live, to Progressive Talk Show Host, and now US Senator. This journey will help him serve our country exceptionally well.
The Tour De France is back into action. The coverage on TV (Versus) is amazing and the plots and subplots are already in full gear. There is something about a month long endurance sporting event that will stir up all kinds of drama in addition to the long rides, the huge climbs and the fast finishes. There is the only kind of Reality TV that I watch. Lance Armstrong is trying for an historic return but he is only one story amongst many. If you have ever been to France, you know just the towns alone are so interesting and filled with so much history. This is a spectacular event and it will be even better if they keep this race clean from the sideshows of performance enhancing drugs.
This brings me to the topic of today’s blog, which is why competition gets so out of hand that people cheat to win in a number of ways. How could a win accomplished by cheating feel ok to anyone who actually has any real values? What drives a person to do whatever it takes even if it may not be legal and could be destructive to his or her body? This has to be the sneaky workings of the human ego. Winning at all cost has for too long been admired by many and questioned by so few.
What this winning at any cost reminds me of is the workings and mindset of too many corporations. The profit motives are like the winning motive. You do whatever it takes to show a profit even if that means firing employees, canceling retirement and healthcare benefits, polluting the environment or whatever can be rationalized in the name of making more money.
This kind of thinking is winner-take-all and being second doesn’t count. Loosing a bike race or a baseball game means you are less of a person or a team made up of losers. What’s happened to doing the best you can, putting all you got on the line and the satisfaction of knowing you gave fully of yourself? Why is that not enough to just do you very best? Why is second place a looser? This all sounds again like the workings of our human egos. We have to be best or it doesn’t matter sounds like the ego wanting to be in control and power. Is that really where happiness lies in meeting the expectations of our human egos? I would say “no” but many might not even recognize their own egos at work.
Signs the ego may be playing too much of a role in your life:
* You have to be right
* You have to be in control
* You hate to lose
* You will do whatever it takes to win
* You will do things illegal to come out on top
* You don’t even see your arrogance
* You get angry when your team looses
* You often blame others for your problems
Does any of this sound familiar? If it does it is positive that you now see yourself a little more honestly. Shrinking the ego takes mostly the awareness of knowing what your driving forces are and then making sure they align with your heart and your higher values. More about shrinking the ego soon.